More thoughts on my last post about forum dynamics. It is usually right about now that I wonder how much my history bias's peoples perceptions of me. This is another one of those blind spots for me.
I don't share my past with people in my real life. Being this vocal on-line is pretty new.
People are so eager to devalue and discard.
I can hear the haters on forums thinking to themselves, Ooh, you think you are so cool having a murdering lunatic for a mother. I could of had one to if I had been a little more lucky.
. The quick to snit's parents can't hold a candle to the Barbarian. It's easier for me to walk on than it is to butt heads with people that already know they are right.
It is here that I pull the pissing contest card and no where else. In this respect, and this one only, will I declare myself possessing more knowledge than most. Not wisdom. Just the knowledge that given the right circumstance, disordered people are capable of anything.
I don't throw this out as a badge of sociopath endurance.
Any one reading this now would have fared just as well as me and my sister.
In the middle of writing, I will stop and remember that this is all too real. All that I speak of is the absolute truth.
That truth is always there, lurking. It is all that I know. It steals thunder from me whenever it feels. It never takes a day off. As long as I live, each day will be more of the same.
It is just something that happened around some kid. That kid is gone. I am what is left. It's just the way it is.
It wouldn't have taken much to save us. Me and my sister. But the time to do the right thing came and went.
If any forum douche bag would like to trade my experience for his. Look me up.