Thursday, February 9, 2012

I don't want to know you anymore.


                    CAROL (Helen Hunt) to 
                    MELVIN (Jack Nicholson) 
                    in the movie "AS GOOD AS IT GETS"
      I don't care what you did for me. 
      I don't think I want to know you 
      anymore -- all you do is make me 
      feel badly about myself.

  I am not sure why the people we pull away from fight as hard as they do as we leave. And when I say fight, I don't mean making amends or doing something/anything to repair the relationship. Their universal response seems to be a tack like this:
Oh you little bastard/bitch! You think I am nasty now? You just wait until I am done with you. I'll give you a reason to go no contact. 
As promised, they then up the ante and we have no choice but to fold up and walk away forever. 
The last time I saw my mother she was raging at me and I flew out her door like buck shot. I walked about a mile and was going to call my SO to come pick me up and leave my truck at my mothers house.
You try and find a working pay phone in this day and age. 
So I walked back, got in my truck, and drove off. The next couple of weeks were an angry blur. I had my SO go down to pick up my computer, because I was afraid if I did I might knock the living shit out of her.
Which is exactly what she did. 
The best I heard back from the SO was her going on about me not being man enough to come pick it up myself. 
Trust me, that bony shrew didn't want to deal with me face to face.
So I called her, and before I could give her a version of really? not man enough? she started letting me have it. I think inside that shriveled carcass of hers is one calcium leached skeleton and one huge bottomless lung.  
Nothing more.

This is the first time in almost 50 year's I stood up for myself. I have walked on eggshells and polished her ass cheeks like a dutiful son. The first time I had enough, and demanded reciprocity from her, the relationship was over. 
Any one who thinks they are totally blameless for an otherwise rational human being walking away, let them get what they deserve. 
If it is curling up like a spider in a candle on a piss soaked mattress in a warehouse for the aged, so be it. 



Anonymous said...

Nononononono......thass' NOT how the psychos wanna "play the game." Because I am convinced in their minds it IS a "game" of power and control. So, you wanna be left in peace and you decide to "NC" the relationship with one of THESE kinds of parents?

They are more tenacious than a starving Tundra deer fly. They will lie (of course!) in wait for you to have the sheer audacity to go on about your life, minding your own damn business and will chase, attack, take hunks out of your reputation/health for years and miles. They will have "PIs" jumping out of bushes, shoving cameras in your face when you pull into the grocery store parking lot/walking down the street/getting out of your car at work. They will procure obviously illegal phone taps. ($$$talks-loudly.) They will place ads in all the local papers where you hold a high profile position requesting "collect calls" regarding you in an effort to have an entire HUGE geographic area become their personal minions. Despite the fact you live a good distance geographically from them, they will ambush you at your front door-then run like hell when you tell them you're calling the police and they see you pick up the phone AFTER they have raised holy hell on your doorstep at 11AM on a bright, warm day in your nice, quiet residential neighborhood after being denied conversation or admittance to YOUR home. They will contact your employer and denigrate/slime/malign the living shit out of you as well as private non-profit organizations, the Social Security Administration, the local police, the not-so-local-police wailing about how they "Don't know HOW you ARRREEEE!" or "WHERERE you ARRREEEE!" but strangely, no matter how frequently you move their avalanches of snail mail BS turn up at the new place before you do. The depths to which these psychos will plumb in their effort to compel contact/reap revenge over a very short snail mail letter you sent them years ago is unfathomable: "Dear (Firstname), I do not wish to have any further contact with you. Your Daughter" or something to that effect.
Well oh crap. You'd a thought I sent a letter full of anthrax for the shit that flew from psyschobitch for the next 18 yrs. until her death (FINALLY!) to this world. All of THIS (and a whole lot more) from a polite, direct request to leave me the hell alone. All this crap in the face of resounding, consistent silence. In fact, when things got quiet and stayed that way for a few years, I figured it was time to make some discreet inquiries and sure enough, finally PEACE!

No, that loss of control drives them right over the edge for sure. Fortunately, they eventually land on their heads when they hit bottom and die. Sadly, not soon enough and not before they take a whole bunch of unwitting others for one hell of a ride.

Yk, if this psychobitch had simply left me alone as I requested I likely would have gone back and reviewed my decision somewhere down the road. Really. But every last unwanted attempt to force contact, to destroy me personally and professionally simply reinforced my decision, over and over again.
If you thought they were asshats before, just wait until you politely terminate the relationship: They don't disappoint.

q1605 said...

TW.... Thass' NOT how the psycho's play the game." ??????
Your slurring your words. Are you tipping a few tonight?
Tsk Tsk.
Ok. 9 o'clock tonight Texas time, raise your glass up, and we will have a toast.
Until then I will try to play catch up.

Anonymous said...

'....the sheer audacity to go on about your life'

Yep, nothing drives them crazier! How dare you!


Anonymous said...

Nahh.......Just crawlin' inside some Stevie Ray............

q1605 said...

TW. Just don't get caught in the cross fire.
I bought SRV a drink in a bar called Sneaky Pete's in Dallas about 1976. He wasn't famous then. Regionally maybe, but he was still playing a four set, close'em down at two bar gig. You could see it in him tho. Went to the bar to try and get laid, and ended up standing there all night watching him play.

Yeah Sis. She can do anything she goddamn well pleases, anytime it goddamn well pleases her. But you have to turn to and step and fetch for her or else.
That's why I sort of shy away from too much NPD analysis here. I think there is a sociopath in every narcissist, but it DOES do narcissist a disservice to compare them to her because she was unlike any disordered person I have ever seen.
Just so far over the top.
Don't forget in the beginning of her criminal career the state was seeking the death penalty against her.
She can keep the farm money. I just want her brain so scientist can view it under a microscope.
Right before I use it to make stink bait.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh, lucky YOU! I hit some SRV Youtubes last night and that's one of the many things I love about the guy: What you see/hear is what you GET. None of this over-produced crap.
I love good blues/jazz and every night on CBC R2 (the English version) they have a program called "Tonic" at 8-10PM EST. It's my nightly "Tonic" of good listening, "education" (Lady Gaga has some phenom blues pipes-who knew?!) and R&R at the end of the day. Check it out.

The Barbarian's Brain will likely be treated as "Toxic Waste" and I'm still hopin' for a "Roast and Toast" in any event!

upsi said...

The day I changed my tune was, according to my mother, the "saddest day of her life." She takes the martyr role to a whole new level of dramatics. Demanding reciprocity broke her rules and she was hell bent on making me pay. She tried everything to knock me back into place - and when she somehow found my blog? It was on like Donkey Kong. Still is, to this day, a war of attrition.

But here's the what-what: demanding reciprocity was not a declaration of war. She turned it into a war. That's the sure-fire way to draw out the beast - like TW said, they will not disappoint.

Anonymous said...

"....a war of attrition." Uh huh. And hell hath no fury like a parent who believes they've been "scorned" when you've tried for years to so as not to provoke the senseless rage, the overwhelming confusion, the impossible "demands" that you be a grown-up before you've even had a chance to be a child, the creeping and very real experience of having less meaning (never mind love) than your immediate "usefulness."
Otherwise, you were at best a PITA. And don't you ever forget that. I surely haven't.


q1605 said...

It's like talking to a five year old. Trying to address grievances and negotiate boundaries.
They revert to their five year old self.
It's either a high end N rage.
Or a grade school mocking session.
Mom I want to say something.
Ma-um I wanna say something.
Are you mocking me?
Are YOU mocking MEeee?
I can't believe this.
I cunt believe this.
Fuck you!
I don't have to sit her and listen to you talk to me like this. I won't have it. Not in my own house.

Anonymous said...

Break the bond and keep it broken. in your favor, of course. What I mean, specifically, is this... Ask yourself if a total stranger acted like that to you what would you d differently? The answer is, everything. Treat someone like that as if they were a total stranger. Walk away with no regrets.

q1605 said...

I've been traipsing back through posts and the ironic thing about this one is as we were posting the hag had already been dead for a month but my ex-wife didn't have a funeral and we didn't know she was dead. Hey Ma Ma you still dead?! Sawright still dead! That was the voice of senior weneces just so you know.