Personality disordered parents find it hard to understand why a child chooses no contact. They have done as they damn well pleased, for as long as it damn well pleased them. They don't care how they crowd you. And they don't understand why they should change something that works so well for them. Never mind what it does to your life.
Like house breaking a dog, the narcissist must be called on their boorish acts each and every time they act up, or the teaching opportunity has been lost. Whack them on the nose with the proverbial rolled up magazine at the time of the infraction, or it's as if it didn't happen. Out of sight, out of mind. They have no concept of themselves as repeat offenders. They have no concept of their chronic bull shit backing up until it reaches a tipping point.Then we look like selfish ingrates for railing over some incident that seems to amount to nothing.
They say they can not heed objections that were never made. One can't self correct if one doesn't know one needs correcting.
I call bull shit on this defense. N parents wouldn't take the shit they ladle on us for two seconds. And they know this. You can't get me to believe they are so far away from the rest of humanity that they are oblivious to the ways they suck the life out of you.
We all have a line that can't be crossed. Be it one despicable act, or that they have hammered and pecked at you a life time for the last time. But cross that line, and I lose compassion and tolerance for them.
If a parent wants to risk losing their child by crowding this grey area, let them step on their dicks and squander us.
In my family there seemed to be an unspoken rule that no matter what my mother was into, there was always to be a soft place for her to fall. It would be nice if she could respond in kind.I spent my life over looking her actions. No matter how her actions impacted me. In those days it was one adult to another, and I was just a luckless kid caught in the crossfire. Insufferable as she may be, I was a spectator in her game.
This all changed in later years. As time faded and she depleted her usual targets and took her savage amusement from me.
Who knows why malignant narcissist keep rolling the dice when what is at stake is their children. The odds are with the house. No one rolls and wins forever.
When we go no contact we regain our sense of being an "I." And they become a child left alone in a house who knows they can now do anything they want, but find there isn't much they want to do.
Narc's never give get out of jail free passes, so they shouldn't expect them.