The mind of a malignant narcissist must be a satisfying place to live. Unencumbered by social graces, they foist an endless procession of mind games and head fucks on every one around them. Their victims litter the landscape of interpersonal relationships as they forge on to new lands taking no prisoners.
We hear the psychiatric community tell us that their self serving exterior hides an unbalanced and conflicted sense of self. That shame and self loathing are their constant companions. Spoken like someone who has read every book on personality disorded people, and really sees no need to have face time with one.
I've never seen any evidence of their distress. Unapologetic and aloof to the end, they lord their entitled selves over the poor slobs (that would be you and me) without the means for escape.
I might could live with the qualities listed above if it weren't for the hypocrisy.
Two faced, candy ass, make you want to punch them in the face hypocrisy. A narcissist will lecture someone one on the evils of smoking while they hold a lit cigarette in their hand.
For an NPD, hypocrisy is more that a persistent pattern of behavior. It's a lifestyle. They are forever telling lies and using transparent, counterfeit charm, in a constant attack to disarm and exploit. Any tactic they can think of to deceive you and achieve the upper hand. All while proclaiming themselves a paragon of virtue. Noble benefactors of human kindness to the unwashed.
Every malignant narcissist I know would crawl over their dying mother to fuck their sister.
My mother says every woman in existence is the cheapest of sluts. Every woman but her. She would jabber on about all the cheap, lying, faithless, sluts. Never stopping to think that I saw men trample her carpet threadbare in the pilgrimage to the bed she shared with my father.
Not even a psychopath would run their mouth like a narcissist and not cringe. Their words are like shrapnel. They keep flinging them in every direction until they hit something. Doesn't have to make a lick of sense.
My mother once told my wife to tell me that while she was in the hospital I could use her house to boink women on the side.
If they ever listened to themselves they would shut the fuck up.
As if it's not bad enough to sit there and listen to them churn out the most stinking bunch of bullshit one has ever heard. To call them on their obnoxious mouth is to invite all the lies and character assassination that follows. I mean even more character assassination on top of all the business as usual bullshit they dole out anyway. They expect to steamroll every one their whole life through, and we are just supposed to take it. They don't notice the rolling eyes. The mouths falling open. The fervent glances from others in the room that says,"surely she didn't say what I just heard her say"?
Oh she said it.
My mother called me a liar for pointing out things I saw her do with my own eyes. Lectured me on how to feel about things she said. Or told me any dust up was my fault for not understanding what is was she was trying to say.
What I do want to know is how do they sustain this perfect art of self deception. What allows them to inhabit this fairy tale that exists between their ears? How do they hold on to two completely differing realities without one crowding in on the other.
Can they hold mutually exclusive beliefs simultaneously?
Can they shift from one reality to another that quick?
Do they know what kind of wing nuts they really are?
No normal person could stoop to the depths of a narcissist and not feel shame. I guess when an NPD does something morally reprehensible he just declares himself morally righteous? Even when their words fly in the face of their actions. Who gives a fuck what others think. I have liberated my realities by selectively disavowing contradictory moral imperatives. Thus, I can merge these realities and they can co-exist without conflict.
Sounds like denial to me. But in the spirit of narcissism I will say they accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
What I really think is that their head is one huge tangle of misfiring synapses, and if you are saddled with an NPD you should just be glad they can shit and hit the can and manage to flush without rubbing it all in their hair.