Monday, April 16, 2012

One Trick Ponies.


I didn't realize how one dimensional personality disordered people are until I started reading blogs and  started one of my own. I had never heard the words personality disorder until after I went no contact. Her insanity could be fascinating. At least from a distance.
I had this idea of  her being a snow flake in the sun. And not in a good way. She took on the aura of a uniquely twisted, one of a kind individual that dimmed the lights and sucked the air out of any room she entered. Knowing her past definitely cast a Hannibal Lecter light about. If she doesn't project one, I project it on her. Knowing she shot and stuffed a guy in his car, and parked him on the side of a country road.
  This is when I began to understood what a flat line they all are. As unique as they hoodwink you into believing them to be, there is little there.  Outside of them being pushy, trouble making boors. Like cats that by pass the scratching post and cheap crap and heads straight to your favorite piece of furniture and claws the shit out of it. Then looks at you like an idiot when you take a whack at it with the broom.
I deleted some posts a while back and am thinking better of it now. One of my favorites was one recounting the last conversation I had with my mother. I had told her to fuck off. She had recovered from her stroke well enough to more than care for herself. She is far too passive aggressive to just tell someone to get on with their life and she'll call you when she needs you. You must be toyed with on your way out. You must be gas-lighted.  It's so much more fun than to just say what she means and mean what she says. I finally had enough of her shit and left.
  Later, after I got word of her trashing me to others.  I called her asking if this was the thanks I got for helping her back on her feet.
  This resulted in the N rage retaliation tirade of her life. I had every thing I have ever done wrong thrown in my face. Blah blah blabity blah blah.
 After a couple of minutes I just said, "Mom you killed a guy."
(Sounding like she had a mouth full of shit to spit out she says)
"Oh I DID not."
"Mom you may not have pulled the trigger but you were in it up to your neck"
"OH I WAS NOT!"
"You even bought the gun the day ya'll killed the guy."
"THAT"S NOT EVEN THE GUN WE USED!"
.
.
.
Well fuck me.
My mistake.
You used a DIFFERENT gun and I know the rules of order.  Confronting a killer and mentioning the wrong  weapon exonerates them.
That's the last words I ever heard from her.


9 comments:

Lisa said...

Yeah! I like how the trick is shooting people in the head.

q1605 said...

She is definitely an over achiever.

Lisa said...

Yeah, and if you ask her, she never did any of it! So humble.

vicariousrising said...

I, too, was shocked at how not unique narcissists are. Their behavior is so off the walk, you'd think they were one of a kind. But the more blogs I read, the more I realized there is next to nothing special about them. I was dumbfounded when I read that list of narcissist mother traits because things listed as the kind of things a narc might say were nearly word for word what spilled out of my mother's mouth. I kept muttering aloud, "They have a goddamn script!" as I read story after story of narcissists speaking my mother's lies.

It would horrify the lot of them to know how boorish they truly are. I like your choice of words -- "boorish".

q1605 said...

If you ask her she denies it. If you don't ask her, she works her way around to bragging about it.

q1605 said...

VR. Even acknowledging the pretty random acts of my mother, she is still just some dumb ass bitch with no impulse control that saw a guy flash a roll of cash and wanted it.
Nothing unique about that.

Adela Alba said...

"THAT"S NOT EVEN THE GUN WE USED!"

... Wow. Just... WOW.

q1605 said...

Yup! That's what she said. She was raging so hard I don't know if she realized she said it. She had categorically denied any involvement with the crime....(after years of dropping off hand remarks about being in the middle of it) Not to mention her week long murder trial in 1970 (she was found not guilty...not to be confused with innocent...see OJ and Casey Anthony) and also that my sister and I were there when it all went down. (I slept though the hub bub)
and she gets caught off guard and says that.
Reminds me of Jack Nicholson and his "you can't handle the truth" moment in "A few Good Men".
I tossed the phone on the bed and walked out of the room.

Adela Alba said...

I'd say tossing that phone and walking away was an excellent decision!