"People of the Lie" by M. Scott Peck
The reason people go no contact and fail is the expectation that we'll get immediate relief from the abuse we suffered at the hands of our parents. When relief doesn't come come overnight, resolve is lost and back we go to the lessor of two evils.
Too many people settle for this twilight, rather than step up and take ownership of themselves.
Own what we all possessed before we were badgered into the thought that we aren't worth finding.
Doing things that make you feel good about yourself, and not doing things just because someone else's expects it of you.
This flies in the face of the disordered. And it makes them despise us.
This is what needs to be understood.
Your parents hate you. If one parent clamps down on everything that brings you joy in life, and the other parent allows it to happen, one parent is no better the the other.
And if you are reading this, they are both against you.
If you continue to allow crazy people to dictate the your engagement with the world, there is no hope.
There is no hope for finding romantic love.
There is no hope for bringing a new life to this world.
You will find your life passing you by and nothing to show from it but perpetual chaos.
All we get is the infinite vote of no confidence.
These are not parents. These are a couple of misanthropes that only feel better if they know someone else is trampled under their feet.
They will not acknowledge this reality.
But they will turn everyone against you.
These obstinate actions are the true bench mark of their feelings.
And the one time reciprocity is called for.
They will watch their child leave before they will spend one second making amends.
They just can't be bothered.
This is them summing up what your life is worth.
This is them showing you exactly how much value they place on your existence.
I would rather die now and alone than to live forever with these soul sucking bastards.
Every thing about them is a lie.
They don't give a shit about you.
They never gave a shit about you.
And as soon as you became an inconvenience they tossed you like a rag.
In the end they don't even bother to cover up their contempt for you.
It makes me furious.
I was robbed of all the obvious things a narcissist takes from us. The relationships they sabotage. The crowding out and hogging of everything that is good. The complete hollowing out of what could have been a decent life.
And for what?
Was my mother just bored? Is that why she shoved every one under a bus?
And after decades in her pathology, she can't gin up one speck of humanity?
They are slot machines that never pay off.
If you are thinking of going no contact, it's for good reason.
Do it now.
Don't wait until it's too late.