Thursday, May 10, 2012

" Transactional Analysis."

If the disordered person in your life is really over the top, I suggest checking out a book called "Games People Play." It's about something the author Eric Berne calls "Transactional Analysis". He says that interpersonal relationships are a series of transactions.
It's really the first bit of writing I've seen  that captures the essence of  the Barbarian.
Chapter 9, Sexual Games, breaks down what she is all about. All of her handsy and grabsy bullshit. All of her strutting whilst she sits in her chair.  How she could act a disgusting fool in a room full of people and think all people see is a delightful human being.
She was even worse when no one was looking. When I say no one, I mean no one of consequence. She did what ever she wanted in front of her kids. Even if we had a death wish and fronted her out, she would have lied and flirted her way out of any repercussions.

Berne breaks sexual games into four categories.
1) Lets you and him fight.
2) Perversion
3) Rapo
4) The stocking game

These games are played to exploit sexual impulses.  My mother is a master. The satisfying result of her sexual games was not the commission of the act, but the payoff after.  Berne prefaces his words with the acknowledgement that clinical studies are dependent on here-say, and subject to self report bias. I happen to have the dubious distinction of watching these games played, as they were played, and even though I was a child, I have full recall of everything.
Let's you and him fight:
 Mostly feminine and the basis of much of the world's literature. The woman maneuvers two men into a fight. Winner take the chick. If the wrong man wins,  it can lead to a game from another chapter called, "Lets pull a fast one on Joey."  Which is self explanatory.
Perversion:   As perverse as she acted, my mother was void of any off kilter sexual impulse. Her delight was taken from the tormented faces of the survivors, man, woman, and child,  of each new holocaust she inflicted on the guilty and the luckless.
Rapo:  This was mom's big default. I heard her say she was raped so many times it flies in and out the other. Knowing her like I do, and knowing her like only one other person on earth knows her, it was dismissed out of hand. You can't rape the willing. She pulled this one out for every time she got caught with her knickers down.
She claimed her murder was committed in self defense. As in one boyfriend killed the other because he was trying to rape her. I won't go into all the things that prove it contrary. Starting with them shooting the guy in the back, at a dead run, some fifty yards away, and then dumping the guy out on the road. To why she was 1500 hundred miles from where she should have been and and and..........
The worst Rapo, called third degree, leads to courtrooms, murder, and suicide. Let me see.
Check check and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm check.
Stocking game: Where a woman is in a room with other couples and tarts herself around until she starts other couple's fighting. Which rounds her to home plate.
I am not going to pontificate on someone else's work. I am suggesting to check this book out. If the source of your turmoil is really unhinged. If you know someone whose whole existence is based on head fucking every one they get around this book will go a long way to sorting this out. He covers all the favorite nut bags and some you haven't heard about.


Anonymous said...

LOved this guy's books, it started me on my quest for sanity long ago.


q1605 said...

There is an excerpt from mask of sanity that pegs ma ma I'll post. Between it and Bern's stuff, it really shows that as bad as their insanity may seem, from a clinical reference, they are just garden variety pains in the ass.
Ones that you shouldn't turn your back on while they are armed.
But day in and day out just,

Lisa said...

I looked up the acronyms for some of those games. These are hilarious!

q1605 said...

It looks like you've wandered into the swingers ads on Craig's list.