Sunday, July 15, 2012

An anonymous rebuttal from the Daily Strength



As a member in good standing of the wonderfully enlightening website of estranged parents, I would like to be firmly on record against that last disrespectful and frankly rude post. The thought of you comparing my beloved friend's and partners in prayer and life's rejoicing, to mindless zombie robots, shocks and appalls me. And the callous, yes I said it, callous way in which you refer to my soul mates and companions on this journey we call life, does a disservice to all self respecting Christians. And it does a disservice to many Jews and most of the Quakers.
But don't push it Buddhist's and you Muslims need to keep moving there. We're watching you.
I do pray for you and other godless heathens like you that so flagrantly disregard the fifth commandment, and you can rest assured that all will be like it should be when Jesus takes us god fearing folk away and castes you into the lake of ever lasting fire.
  We will all go to heaven and you will go to (pardon my french) h-e-double hockey sticks. And even if our lord and savior Jesus Christ allows you into our promised land, you can be sure that we will be separated by barbed wire fences and barking German Shepard's.

We here at DS are all partners on this estrangement journey. We carry each other along the path. When one lags behind, we go back to make sure they have not broken a heel. And when you grubby bastards who had it all handed to you on a silver platter and still were not happy, and you  make me feel bad, I picture the bad thoughts as an e-mail and hit delete delete delete! Sometimes it is not easy. The bad thoughts have a comforting feel. They creep in and make themselves at home.

Sometimes I put the thoughts of you bad bad people in a BIG basket and attach lots and lots of balloons... Then let it go up into the sky. Off to god. I have to do this a lot some days. Other times I am too busy riding my motorcycle, kayaking, or skydiving. I have also started a network of members who capture and decode foreign satellite transmissions from commie nations to keep this god fearing country safe from enemy attack. 
I have diverted the negative thoughts and energy my so called off spring have put on me, and I have built a  particle accelerator in my garage and am creating new elements by bombarding isotopes such as calcium-50 with plutonium-248 to create flerovium-298.
Just any old thing to make me not think of all the heart ache and confusion that raising an ungrateful bastard brings me.
 I now have little time to waste thinking about that bastard I gave life to. 










16 comments:

Anonymous said...

This actually made me laugh,lol. I usually get pissed off at these delusional people. They are so far from Christian and have no idea what a Christian is....LOL. They'll be the ones who are shocked when Jesus says, depart from me, I never knew you.

Calibans Sister said...

Hilarious parody, Q. Subtle. Until it's less so. Then side-splitting. Especially that last paragraph.

Tundra Woman said...

Speaking of baskets and balloons-some guys just did a similar maneuver with lawn chairs and lots and lots of balloons.
Maybe they could do the same thing! Forget the thoughts-which are more along the lines of, "I should have ABORTED THE DAMN INGRATE!"-here's a gen-U-whine opportunity! I don't know how far up they'd have to float to meet their particular "Brand" of "creator" but I'd sure like to see em (all) give it a try. In fact, I'll donate a LOUNGE chair to the endeavor, right off my patio: It's a little "rustic" (red neck/rusty) but I've been trying to get out of bringing it to the dump. One and the same, far's I can tell, but this would be for a "good cause."
I could write it off as a "Charitable Contribution" on my taxes. I'll send it free, "postage COD."

Tundra Woman said...

(Oh shit-LOL, "Riders On The Storm" just started playing and I have this picture in my head of a bunch of these EPs "launching" in lawn chair loungers tied to balloons.)
TW

Tundra Woman said...

STOP IT+YOU"RE KILLIN' ME!!!! BATHROOM BREAK NOW!

Tundra Woman said...

(Is that Elvis in that chair?!)
TW

q1605 said...

Jimmy Hoffa.

Tundra Woman said...

They'd have an endless supply of hot air and gas.
TW

q1605 said...

Yowsah!

Calibans Sister said...

You guys are like a stand-up routine! Laughing over my morning coffee. Wish I had a BB gun to shoot those balloons. But we wouldn't want Hoffa falling out of the sky.

Tundra Woman said...

Thank you for not being offended, CS. Gotta admit, sometimes the humor may be a bit....not "PC" but it's just gallows humor. Sometimes, we just need to laugh!
I think Jimmy took the "deep dive" with the sudden stop. Someone must have had the BB gun (minimally) and "landed" in some fresh concrete being poured for the "Joysie Turnpike"...or maybe it was that other job, the Stadium where "The Boss" plays regularly to sold-out crowds.
In any event, Elvis or Jimmy managed to loose some weight based on their appearance in the "chair"!
TW

Sweetness said...

Why are people afraid to say the word "hell?" Why the sports equipment substitutions for letters?

q1605 said...

I think if the people ay the Daily Strength over compensate in their writing with the "keeping it clean" approach that no one will suspect them of raging and cursing their kids with reckless abandon.

Anonymous said...

It always amazes me how they say they follow Jesus and all that and yet one of the biggest things Jesus talked about was "Judge not!". Hello

Sis

q1605 said...

I am judging them, but I am not always harping on Jesus.

Tundra Woman said...

^^It's always a good idea to cover ALL the "options,"
eh?!
TW