I see no difference between them and her.
The women that are on the support groups all have the same predictable affect.
They are histrionic. They are martyrs. They write expansively about their pain over the estrangement. But never about their part in it.
They are quick to point fingers. Quick to express undying and unconditional love for their child as they inventory all the things they will not do to salvage the relationship.
My mother periodically visited my grand mother after my fathers death. But her actions implied that she didn't give a shit and that she had better things to do. If I had not ended up living with my grandmother, I am not sure I would have ever seen my mother again. She was only there because my grand mother had inherited the family farm. If you don't believe, ask me about my grand mothers funeral. The one in which my step father had to drag her to the grave-site because a cold front had blown through and she had her hair done just so.
I don't remember there being any conversation about me not living with my mother. I just never did again after my father death. It's hard to snag a new hubby with a kid in tow.
My sister offered me a place to stay on the coast and it was a done deal. We lived in a small town, and after all that I couldn't face going back to school and answering questions about what had happened.
I came back to Texas over the Christmas holidays, but if I hadn't buffered my fathers death with some peace at my sisters house, I would have faded away.
Hearing all this feel good rhetoric from estranged parents is nauseating. Here is a list of words that are repeated over and over. That we are:
Cold. Unfeeling. Unloving. Tormenting. Hellish and causing them Anxiety. Sadness. Pain.
All this is to describe the ingrate we have evolved into.
You parents will be livid at being compared to a sociopath.
But a sociopath is what you are.
When you lie to protect your image at the expense of the people you claim to love, you are a sociopath.
Free and clear.
There is no exchange on the DS site that has the least bit of sincerity behind it.
It's all air kisses and soul butter and none of it is real. Those of you that think this interaction is on par with the way a real person interacts with another are too far gone to help.