Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The dim bulb shines again.

I'm not big on the supernatural. But I had one undeniably supernatural experience at the age of 14.  During broad day light. And it was as real as the day is long.
As a youth I was susceptible to thoughts of ghoulies and ghosties,  long legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night.
This post is not about that.
This post is about my first attempt to tell another living soul about my experience.
A couple of weeks after it happened, we all sat down to dinner.
It was me, and my mother and father, living in the only hovel we could afford after my mothers trial for murder.

Sis was gone. She knew what was good for her and bolted as soon as she could.
So I sat there and I listened to them talk.
And after a lengthy silence, I ventured to tell my story about the shining with no light. The one that happened at the same instant as my great grand mother Two Mama died. Across town. At precisely four o'clock in the afternoon.
I was two sentences in and I got the lip quivering from my mother. I know this look well, but doofus that I am, I thought it might be real.
So I stop. And let her hold court. The tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her stoic face gleaming in the moon lighty night.
All squinched up and just asking to be punched.

"Oh Leslie, I just think about that poor man that was killed over at Bondstone."
Bondstone was the street where her killing went down.
"And I just...mew mew mew mew mew mew mew."
You want to know how many times I have heard her say she didn't give a flying fuck about that guy or what happened to him?
Somewhere between one hundred and infinity.
But tonight it worried her pretty little head, and we all needed to divert our focus to her and nothing else.
This was nothing new.
Straight Flush beats a Full House, and mommies tears beats her kids story of proof of life after death.

Never stopped to wonder why this sudden display for a guy she said she'd whack again if she could. 
And so it go's and so it went. Never gave it another thought.
And the sands of time passed.

 Time Please.

Thank you.

After the help my mother after her stroke fiasco, I rolled old tape through my head and I thought of that and wondered why? It never made sense. She is notorious for her displays of crocodile tears and I knew then that this was that. But why then. Why why why? 
I had told of coming home from school in the afternoon. And having this experience. It was while I was cooking mac and cheese on the stove. So why?
I'll tell you why.
Because it flew in the face of the Mary Poppins act she told my father went on during the day.
If I had been allowed to continue, the question of where she was and why I was cooking my own chow would have been asked.  She was never home until minutes before he was due. Never.  And any hot food I ate I cooked myself. 
But she portrayed herself to him as the doting mother and Southern Belle. She kept him chock full of shit the whole 23 years they were married. And this would contradict her whole facade of what went on while he was gone.
She was always running that game.


Anonymous said...

That sounds like her lunacy. She never mentions the 'poor man' from 1967 to 1972 and then brings him up right in the nick of time to save herself from questioning. Wow, just wow. She should have been an actress.


q1605 said...

Sis'o'reno. Long time no post. Good to see you back!

q1605 said...

And yeah. Is that not her to an effing T?

Tundra Woman said...

Hey Sis! Good to see ya!
"Should" have been an actress? Sounds to me like she had that DOWN!
Interesting about the light event, though. I know a few other people who have been blown away by a similar event and BTW, they're normal, sane adults. Huh. Rita picked up a dirty old man spirit years ago and just got rid of him a few years ago. This perv spirit followed her from place to place. Whereas mine tend to stalk me IRL. (How dull.)
Yep, The Barbarian probably had the whole lower lip quivering thing going on as well as the tear-filled eyes. Bet she knew which was her "best side" as well! (I bet you make a mean box of mac and cheese by now, q!)!

Charity said...

Q and Sis, it's freaky how familiar this is.

Different details, same game.

q1605 said...

About my experience.
I will only say this.
It was the most pleasant thing I have ever been through.
Beatitude on earth.

Anonymous said...

hi, thanks! Hope everyone is well and happy. : )


p.s. another aspect to this story is that they totally dissed you and blew off your important story. As usual, children are to be seen rarely and never heard.

Calibans Sister said...

Q, how lucky you are that Sis can read and comment! And the beatitude story is extraordinary. So much so that it should completely eclipse the sickness of your mother. The Barbarian is one sick sick person. The Mac and Cheese probably needs Tabasco these days.

q1605 said...

Next time I'm motivated I write the beatitude story out. I went the longest time before I told sis about my blog. Then I figured wtf.

vicariousrising said...

My first thought was that your mother needed to steal your thunder, but I think you probably are right that she needed to divert from her true whereabouts.

q1605 said...

Maybe some of both.
I was trying to get across what a profound experience this was so I was gearing up to go into great detail.
It's not like she was chained to the house. But she has a tendency to lay it on pretty thick.
So it would be kind of like that employee that go's on and on about never leaving their post and yet every-time you happen by they are never there. After a while you start going out of your way to check up on them.
And if they are never there you realize they are full of shit.
So they can't afford to start that crack, that becomes the toehold, that becomes the wiggle room, that becomes they're undoing.

Anonymous said...

Must have seemed like a big game to her. Probably got her thrills by almost getting caught everyday. A thrill addiction.


q1605 said...

You called it way back. After the Cadillac incident when you said after she seemed awfully pleased with herself.