Sunday, August 19, 2012

A rebuttal from Turlene about ANA.

Hi ya'll. My names Turleen. I was e-mailing that Q fellah and he said that maybe I ought ta just write something and he would put it on his blog there for me. I am a member in good standing over yonder at that after narcolipsism abuse website and you might remember me from a few years back when I was the inspiration for the Trash Talking Turleen doll and I made a little bit of money off it but when they didn't really sell that many dolls there that Hasbro company they wanted their money back cause what they paid us was suppose to be something called an advance and seeing's how they didn't sell any of them dolls there they paid me more money than my commission woulda been.
Here is a picture of that doll they made. This might jog your memory a little smidgen.


Well anyways my boyfriend Harley already spent all that money up and we liked to have had a big old court battle over it so I went up to their office and had negotiations and drinks and we just settled out of court. That's how I ended up with Bobby Harley Earle so I still came out on top of things.

  I like to tell folks he is named after the motor cycle but really he's named after his great great grand daddy Jebidiah Harley Earle. I think its funny that he got three first names but no body much laughs about it so I just keep my mouth shut these days. Seeing how Harley ain't even really his daddy. 
Any ways I read that mean post Q wrote about that girl who has that site on Facebook there about the narcolipsistic people and I wanted you to know that he is WRONG. 
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. 
My husband is narcolipspatic and he used to be mean to me all the time. He got real mean after he was driving Harley Sr's station wagon and went and drove up into an underground parking lot while Harley Sr was standing up and pissing out the back window and that bar there that keeps people with campers from driving in just about took his head clean off.  He never forgave himself for that. Even after they reduced the charges from intoxication manslaughter to intoxication assault and he only had to do six months at the ranch as part of his shock probation.  After that Harley got all mean about things and that there site was like a two by four over a muddy creek for me. And ya know how that Q fellah always talks about how narcolipsistmatic's can't be cured? Well I cured Harley of it simple. I just waited till he passed out one night and sewed him up in his sheets and beat the shit out of him with an iron skillet and he didn't give me no more trouble after that. 
Here I gotta picture of me and Harley Jr. when it was that we first got married..


I was pregnant with Raylene then. Harley says this picture shows the beauty of life's creation in a tasteful way and not at all like that pregnant woman sex porn site he prescribes to.  I wonder if he would like it if he knew Raylene's daddy was really Ray from the pic 'n' sav  who I accidentally had sex with when Harley Jr. was down at the ranch on that intoxication assault charge. 
That was a long time ago. Here's how little Raylene turned out.

I swear there's something wrong with that child. I didn't know it but me and Ray are first cousins and no body told me that till after it was too damned late to get an abortion. I spent a lot of nights worried if that child would come out with two heads but she come out fine. Some doctor said she has FAS but she ain't fast. She is pretty damn slow.
Well I gotta skeedaddle here cause Charlene Harley and Waylon Harley need to be fed and Harley I and II oughta be in directly from work.
You just remember you need to believe none of what you hear and only about half of what you see. Especially when you are talking about a city slicker like that Q fellah.  Q is a cute bugger. I don't have a picture of him but I am pretty sure he is little Waylon Harleys daddy and I got a picture of Waylon Harley if you wanna see it?
I would sure like it if all ya'll prayed to baby Jesus with me to save the soul of that misguided blogger who we won't mention by name cuz baby Jesus you all ready know who to aim your taser like lightening bolts at already.
Just stun him baby Jesus.
Just stun him and me and the ANA squad will take care of the rest of your godly work down here on earth  and you won't even have to break a sweat.

18 comments:

Bess said...

Sweet baby jebus...I ain't enjoyed a blog post this much sense my niece, Elizabeth Bobbie-Ann, done posted her new years eve pix where she fell on her bottle a mad dog an had to get stitches on her yoo-Hoo.

q1605 said...

Was it her yoo hoo or her hoo ha? You can stitch up a yoo hoo but I don't know what they do to fix a hoo ha.
I mean I am just concerned that she's made it through all right and ain't been rendered barren or anything.

Bess said...

Well, see, she calls it her yoo-hoo cuz it echoes, but I spose technically it's her hoo-ha. She didn't lose the twins or nothin' like that. She was just tryin' to be a good momma n share like she was told to do by her brother and cousin, Uncle Bobby.

Bess said...

But that Bobby he ain't nothin' but a no-count fool. If he warn't such a damn eedjit she wouldna had to be drinkin the mad dog. A good relative woulda brought some of the home-ginned shine to such a gatherin.

Tundra Woman said...

Betcha after they stutched her up nice and tight lyke, she done tol ebry guy she done regot her burg-in-etee.

q1605 said...

Her yoo hoo echoes? I met a girl like that up in New York City.
She kept telling me how small my organ is.
Hell I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral.

q1605 said...

I got a come back'ere TW. But I'm afraid google might disable my account if I share it with you.

Anonymous said...

I be down yonder pickin on my banjo when my big ol ears on my hydrocephalic skull dun heard me some sqeelin... just like a piggie. Well what do ya know but it dun be my mobile home neighbour Ana Michelle. Now she is a classy lady cause she gots herself 2 first names. Anyways she be a sqeelin and a sqwakin cause there be some people sayin bad things about her on the interweb. Well. I got me some dial up interweb and I joined in Ana facebook so I could do interweb with all my cousins about how the narcopolisim dun effected our clan. We also like to talk guns and moonshine but mostly we talk about jebus savin us from the narcapocalypse. Now Ana Michelle be one classy lady and don't you ever forget it cause she saved my soul from Satan. So thats all I really gotta say, cept was wonderin if maybe this Q fella might like to go on a campin trip with me?

From Ned

q1605 said...

Ned. I'd be right proud to go campin with ye.
If I drop my car keys I'll be kickin'em back to Texas foren I bend over ta pick'em now copy that.

Anonymous said...

Dang it all! Does that mean ye ain't be sqeelin like a piggie for me?

From Ned

q1605 said...

With a few drinks. Some dancing. Who knows where the night will take us.

Calibans Sister said...

Thanks for the belly laughs!! God what a way to start a day.

q1605 said...

At'ere Ned's the funny one.

Calibans Sister said...

well, today's my bday, and it was great waking up to the musical stylings of Turlene and her respondents.

q1605 said...

Happy birthday.
I hope it's the best one ever.

Anonymous said...

I won't quit ya.

From Ned

Anonymous said...

Hey Turlene it's Tiffany, oooh I'm sooo mad. After all he done to me, throwin me into mental heal and druggin me and makin me homeless and a damaging our children so bad and now in children court and fam court he still demands the marriage is not over? what the... jerk, it all over when he don't want me 200 metres near my own house and children. Bastard christian man.

Anonymous said...

Hay Tiffany!
I was wondering there if your man didn't get himself into some lead paint chips when he was a young'un?
I hear that the Romans had lead pipes around there about in Romania and that's what caused the fall of the Holier Romanian Empirical Nation.