Saturday, August 25, 2012

Pretzel logic and the dude.



 Elena K's latest post made me think of my mother's pretzel logic. She can blame somebody else for something you just watched her do.  And if you are stupid enough to ask her how she can proffer that as the truth you get a  ten minute Rube Goldberg explanation until you give up and leave the room.


How can a person that carries themselves in a way that screams they are above reproach, sit there with a straight face and just say whatever pops into that limitless reservoir of fabrication they call a head. 
She's done it all her life.
Somewhere in the past she crossed a line and at that point she was allowed to carry on. 
Oblivious to rolling eyes and people biting their knuckles to not laugh in her face. She sold it and people kept buying it.
I am betting it was the guys that wanted to nail her. I know the lengths a man will go to get a girl in bed. Although with the Barbarian the length was as far as the nearest parking lot.



  I  in the spirit of "after narcissistic abuse" I am beginning a series of stolen self help video so Acon's can remain sane. If you can't go NC here is the next best thing.
As this scene unfolds notice how "The Dude" baits the N in a clever design to get just what he ultimately wants from the N.
He becomes exactly what it is that pisses the N off, and while the narcissist is foaming around and biting their tongue, he takes what it is that he wanted.
This tactic is the only way to win with a narcissist. 




3 comments:

vicariousrising said...

I was just reading about something like this today, about mirroring behaviors. I wasn't actually looking at it for narcissist perspectives, but it happened to pop up quite a bit in my google search about mirroring behaviors.

I'm kind of inclined to not engage or need anything from a narcissist ever. "winning" is such a tricky term when it comes to these people.

Anonymous said...

IMO, "winning" with them generally involves that smirk/half smile they get on their faces when they've just bitch-slapped you from here to hell in front of a bunch of people (preferably) who don't have a CLUE what just transpired. Unless these "others" know a bit of the background.
Ex: My "garden variety" Nsis. I brought her to her first AA meeting years ago just before Christmas and since she lived in Manhattan, there were meetings around the clock. I found one close to her place, walked in with her, explained to the group this was my sister, I didn't live in the area and I hoped they'd take her in; besides I needed to get to Psychob's place post haste. And take her in they did-I brought her a Big Book, what ever topic was on the agenda was shelved for the newbie and left for the other "residence."
A year passes, and Nsis is getting ready to celebrate her first year which is a big deal. She asks me to come down a couple days early so I could be at her Speaker Meeting (that'd be her, the speaker) so I took off extra time from work, she didn't meet me at Grand Central (a repeat of the previous year) and I took Amtrack as we had planned. So I grab a cab and and went to her place...and waited and waited. Finally she arrives, and off to the meeting we go. She does her thing: At the part where they get to how they found themselves attending their first meeting, Nsis says, "I always thought alcoholics were guys hanging around alleys/street corners drinking out of brown paper bags. After all, how would TW know about them? SHE NEVER HAD ANY CLASS ANYWAY." My mouth dropped open, the tears came to my eyes and yes, I had on a pair of jeans, a nice blouse and coat, perfect for Amtrack. I felt like a complete fool. When she made these statements, she kept VERY focused on my face. I saw the smirk of pleasure, the very obvious enjoyment when she saw how hurt I was. Of course, she had it all planned and I stepped right into it. After, everyone was going up to her, congratulating her, air-kisses all around, a lovely cake, a bottle of Joy Perfume and of course, her one year chip.
I stayed in my seat, hoping I could compose myself and be gracious. A man sitting a row behind me and to my side reached over and tapped me gently on the shoulder-very nicely dressed, professional appearing and bearing. He very quietly and directly said, "You'll ALWAYS have more class than her." He picked up on the maneuver immediately. I could barely mumble, "Thank you. That's very kind of you to say."
"Winning" is a carefully crafted ambush that ensures the other will be so dumb-struck, so embarrassed, so hurt, the N "Won." And bonus points for pulling it off in Public, so your humiliation of the other will be exponentially increased.
Just an observation from "The Rooms" and how a Narc can use any situation for self-aggrandizement at YOUR "expense."
TW

q1605 said...

Yeah TW. And when they pull it off in public, they are sure you won't stoop to their level so they can blast away.