People that are leaving relationships with a narcissist hold the patent on being damaged by the personality disordered. No Acon could ever understand the intense suffering that comes from a romantic relationship with the personality disordered. Or so they would have us think.
Their KGB like phobia of outsiders confines them in a microcosm of Orwellian empowerment slogans and heal speak. No Acon I know has a problem with those guys. But questioning their fearless leader leads to nothing but attacks from them.
They are sure that being raised by a narcissist, and dating a narcissist are mutually exclusive experiences. Their fresh insult trumps our ages old damage by miles.
As if we each have a life time allotment of one bat shit loon. They seem to think Acon's have punched their one loon to a life ration card and we are martyr hogs.
For them it's exciting to turn a failed relationship into camaraderie. They generate a cacophony of woo hoo's and you go girls. And when they find some one else to date, they will thank everybody and take their leave.
I am happy for them.
But the implications that adult children of a narcissistic are over indulged and irrelevant doesn't do us any favors. For us this is a life time journey. There will be no commencement.
And we can't go to mom's dot com and shop for another.
It's great that having a narcissistic parent inoculates me against the affliction of romantic entanglements with a disordered woman. Because that would make me crazy.
I didn't date a personality disordered woman.
I married one.
Yes Virginia, having a loon for a parent tends to make us attract even more loons. I am flypaper for crazy women. Hell if I know why we lead with our chin when we walk into a romance with a loon. Maybe it's because the sex is so good in the beginning.
If there is one good thing you can say about a crazy person, it's that they.......well... they fuck like a crazy person.
By the time they start showing signs of insanity outside of the bedroom, it's too late baby. It's too late.
They are living with you, pregnant, borrowed your life savings, or in some way have become an intractable part of your life. I won't wax poetic about my first wife. I'll make my inventory direct and to the point.
*Was screwing every one that could achieve an erection.
*Focused mainly on screwing a guy that used to be our neighbor.
*Rat-holed $30,000 dollars and bought a bass boat and parked it at his house.
*The same boat he bragged to me about while I watched him wash it oblivious to the fact it was half mine.
*Had numerous credit cards in my name that were billed to her office.
*After we filed for divorce she charged them all to the hilt and fobbed them off on me
*Took the house
*Took the cars except my work truck
*Took all the savings
* Hit me in the head with a Mason jar, put me in the hospital for 3 days, told nurses I fell and hit my head
*Took MY Pembroke Corgi. Actually had it written in the decree.
*Somehow managed to even jack my frequent flier miles
*Eventually ended up with a cabin we had in East Texas
*She is now my mothers bestess friend and I wouldn't be surprised if she is in my mothers will
* Talked me into getting a vasectomy when she had to have been on birth control because our neighbor was banging her. (explain that to me for extra credit)
*Won't get her last name changed back to her own because my last name is almost the same as Clint Blacks wife.
*(not even kidding about her last name)
*Won fights by calling 911 and calmly waiting for an answer, then screaming like I was chopping off her head.
*Must have been fucking my attorney because he let her get away with all this shit.
*There are hundreds of lessor mind fucks. Too numerous to mention.
*** To be fair to this chick, she always held a decent job and brought her half to the table. But like my mother, when things got boring they went whoring***
My first wife.
On our wedding night
And last month
Why did I let her have it all? This was in 1999. If I had not signed off we would still be doing battle in court.
But it was worth every penny to get out of there with my life.
So people who date narcissists? You guys don't have it as bad as you think. Acon's get the worst of both worlds.
* This post is based on way more than the limited interactions I have had with After Narcissistic Abuse site. I have watched groups like ANA elevate themselves as an exclusive club beyond Acon's for a couple of years. I just thought they might want to know that on the heels of some pretty fucked up significant others, Acon's still view the relationships with our parents as the one that defines our fucked up interface with the world.