Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Gospel of Re-victimization.

Click the link below to see how commerce sites talk about you when they think you aren't looking.

After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love

The gospel according to the Goddess of Light Love and Life After Narcissistic Abuse
Follow the word
Only then will you know the true path of trafficking in human misery


Charity said...

What the !!! Q, I just read this whole thing, and this is unbelievable. Tracy Morrigan aka Danu web master of Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers aka DONM is unmasked right here by her own words on this 2 year old forum as the consciousless predator she really is.

I see now how lucky I was that she banned me with my first-ever carefully worded post on her stinking forum last June when I was desperate for HELP right after learning about my momster's latest 62 page hate letter full of lies, and my precious affirming RN cousin with a BA in psychology drowned the day after telling me that "it would explain everything" if my mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder... I wanted to die with her, or better yet, die in her place, my cousin was so much younger than me and had so much life in her, her work with terminally ill patients was helping many suffering people while I am nothing but useless most days thanks to my depression and PTSD... and then my cousin freaking DROWNED?!? She was one of the very few from my family of origin who had known my momster all her life and could SEE through her act of "normalcy."

I was online searching for help in that most vulnerable time right after my cousin's memorial service, and found Tracy Morrigan/Danu's DONM forum. As I read through the pages I felt like I had finally found a HOME! I was so grateful to find what seemed to be a site full of understanding, caring, compassionate, kind women, who all apparently had mothers as crazy-making and abusive as mine.

So I joined the site, I carefully read all the rules, then I posted my first very carefully written and re-written post, explaining in detail all the hell I was going through life right then, with my dear precious affirming cousin drowning just 5 days after I had learned about the 62 page hate letter my mother had sent me, with copies to the family... I logged onto the DONM site the next morning hoping to find some helpful comforting affirming words and found myself BANNED. With no explanation other than a tersely worded "the administration has determined that you are not a good fit for this forum. This decision is final and not open for debate."

Wow. I truly wanted to DIE when I read that. I felt so condemned, unworthy, unwanted, second-rate. I felt like I had had yet another soul-murdering run-in with my malignant narcissistic mother.

Tracy Morrigan who calls herself "Danu" of DONM is a predatory evil malignant narcissistic lying BITCH. In my opinion.

I mean, even if in my extreme grief I had inadvertantly somehow broken one of her Commandments, I mean rules, in my initial post - in view of the PAIN I was obviously in when I wrote that post, as any person with any kind of a heart could have clearly seen, wouldn't the human, compassionate thing to do have been to have hidden or even deleted my post, and then sent me a kindly-worded private email explaining exactly what it was about my post that was unacceptable in her eyes, and thereby give me a chance to reword my post?

But Heartless Bitches just don't care. They only PRETEND to care when others are watching.

q1605 said...

I have no idea why they would devalue and discard you like that. Here are some links to check out.

I am trying to find out if Danu's right hand chick who's name is Michelle and go's by the cryptic name of "light" is Michelle of the ana.
Don't know. Doesn't matter.
She threatened me with legal action and I didn't even know who she was.
Fucked with the wrong dude, bitch.
I would have left it alone but her site is creepy and cultish and she can .......
eat me.
I think that is the legal term.

upsi said...

This week alone I've heard a half dozen horror stories about Danu. It's weird because it was the first site that I found that helped me along toward the lightbulb moment. So for that I'll always be grateful. But to make profit from all the pain and suffering? That's tough for me to swallow and was why I removed the link to her page on my blog - all that tapping bullshit she's schlepping really turns me off.

q1605 said...

I don't think it is automatically a bad thing to have a site that morphs into a profit making venture.
But the way the run these places is like a slaughter house.
If you get something you can take a bite out of you need to know you're getting the whole hog.
Everything but the oink.
And tapping?
Can any one say placebo effect?

upsi said...

Oh most def. we got the placebo goin on here.

I always gotta watch you, the deletion master. I had copied your original version of this post (my data hoarding minxly ways!) and loved the last line, "Only then will you know the true path of trafficking in human misery."

And I fully agree, it isn't the profit motive alone that turns the stomach and raises so many ethical flags, it's the predatory nature of pursuing a niche market because you're so intimately familiar with their weaknesses, their hopes, their dreams, their pain. It's the goddamn exploitation.

upsi said...

Oh and that Michelle chick did fuck with the wrong guy, dude. As we've bonded I've come to know that I want you on my side in a dustup ;) You are so practiced in the art of rational thinking I can't imagine why I would want to duel with you.

q1605 said...

Upsi daisy. I thought it was over the top. Even for me. The message got lost in my attempt to be funny and I I don't think some folks find them that amusing.
On the exploitation. I agree. This isn't weight watchers or people with clown phobias. (danu even has an EFT site for this ailment)
You're getting insides peoples heads. I mean INSIDE.
We all commiserate but (other than being a proponent of NC) I don't say much except to dog the Barbarian.

q1605 said...

No upsi. It's you that is the queen of logic.

Tundra Woman said...

You also need to add Sweet Violet who is linked to your site, q. She knows ALL ABOUT this crew, including "Lights" place as well. Read the top of SV's Blog about the "Not Safe" links and what happened to her. Might want to send her an email at her Blog site and fill her in on this Post: She'd have a BUNCH of stuff to share with you and how these "people" are tied together.
Oh, and that "Tapping Technique" from that DONM site? That's been available for free on the internet for ages. They're all a bunch of Narcs going forth and multiplying. Ol' Tracy was already looking to make money off her DONM site within a year of her Blog making it's "debut." And the "testimonials?" Self-generated.
ana michelle is tied up in that mess as well-Predators in cyberspace. Don't you EVER attempt to BS an ACoN who ISN'T a Narc: We'll call you on it in a heart beat or less.
Just to refresh a few memories, I've mentioned at various times on different ACoN Blogs the reality there are a bunch of Narcs/Self-Styled "Therapists" who view us as a demographic ripe for exploitation. As an aside, real Ts are far too busy with their IRL Practice to shill for clients in cyberspace. They have REAL offices-not a "Home Office" located in the kitchen with a cheap 'puter-with REAL clients and don't DO "Phone Consults" because this is not only a huge ethical breach, it also has significant implications for their Professional Licenses if indeed they DO have them-and not from some on-line "university."
Y'all, we're no where NEAR a "Broken" as these self-promoters would like us to believe: They prey on our lack of confidence in our own perceptions, just like the NPs. Is it any wonder they have the Narc game down?!
I don't care if you want to make money either but promoting yourself as an "Expert" when clearly you're not, marketing your "Expertise" which isn't and then slamming my brothas and sistahs when they reach out for help makes you not one bit different than the abuse we endured for years. Damn Predators laking any morals and ethics in addition to their FAUX "Caring and Sharing." And D&D-ing anyone who is smart enough to potentially unmask them. ana michelle's site is Marketing at it's worst and so clearly transparent it's down right painful to watch if it wasn't so suckily dripping with "Care and LUV" for the "fam."
Self-promotion at it's worst. Don't fuck with my brothas and sistahs.

q1605 said...

Yeah TW. Even seasoned and credentialed therapists will admit personality disorders leave them gob smacked. But you get some bimbo with a dial up connection and she proclaims to have the cure and wants to sell books and on'line consultations.
The fact that you'll never know their real name should be a red flag.
Haven't their victims ever been around the block.
I mean I've heard the word of god my damn self.
It was 4 am in Times square. God was calling to me to come up the ally and experience his divine presence.
I didn't go.
I am pretty sure it a two or three homeys with a base ball bat.

upsi said...

I'm always a fan of your over the top material. I'm still giggling about what bastards we are. And I think everytime you zing the Barbarian for grabbing a swinging dick, an ACoN gets their wings.

Bess said...

Hahahaha!!! Love!

Charity said...

Oh man, Q, I liked your original post here the best. I'm going to have to start saving screen shots before you go making changes.

Ahem.... not that I never make changes...

q1605 said...

If it's that big of a deal I can reconstruct it. I sit over here howling like a monkey doing them. But I was left in the sun too long way back and there's something ain't right about me.

Charity said...

BTW, Q, you said in your reply to my first comment: "I have no idea why they would devalue and discard you like that."

I agree, that was my reaction. But my best-friend-hubby asked me, when I told him I had just been banned from the DONM site with my very first poast: "Is her site selling anything, or asking for donations?"

I said, "Yes, both."

Then he asked, "Did you include a link to your blog on your post?"

"No," I said, "But in the application to join the site there is a blank asking for the url to any blog or website you may have, and I put it there."

"Ah," said my astute and loyal hubby. "So she read your blog, saw that you are a great writer and that you are in the process of writing a book, and she feels threatened by that. She is probably worried that your blog and book may cut into her revenue."

Even though my blogs have never sold anything, nor have I ever had a button asking for donations, I think my hubby may be right. I'm not saying I think I'm a great writer, mind you, that was just my prejudiced loving hubby talking, trying to cheer me up. But it is true that on the blog I had at that time, there was a link to a page that told about a book I was in the process of writing.

I have since given up on that book, which was entitled "Out of the Crazy Closet," and have recently started writing another one that tells it even more like it is. Or was. Or like it is and was, both.

But here's the thing: unlike so many aspiring authors with their delusions of fame and fortune, I have already had a novel published, in 2000. Like the vast majority of new books by unknown authors, my published novel, although I thought it was very good and I fully expected it to take the literary world by storm and become the next Great American Novel, "The Second Mrs. Robinson" (pen name Rebecca Rochelle) brought me neither 15 seconds of fame, nor enough of a fortune to put mac and cheese on the table for even the first year after its debut.

Therefore, the book I am writing now is a labor of both growing pains and love. I hope that my story will affirm others who have been through a similar fate - plus the writing of my most painful experiences is cathartic and healing for me. I have no illusions that I am ever going to make any real money off of anything I write.

Ha... here's an example of how little my royalties from the sale of my novel matter to me: I moved in 2004 when I married my best-friend-hubby, and I did not leave a forwarding address (due to a stalker ex-abuser-boyfriend), and I never bothered to give my new address to my publisher. I have almost 8 years worth of royalty checks somewhere - my book is still being sold, albeit at such a ridiculously high publisher-set price, no one in their right mind would buy it - and I just don't really care about the piddly royalties. Go figure that one out.

Charity said...

Ah, Q, you wrote your reply to my reply to your reply, while I was constructing my last reply (huh?)

Seriously Dude, don't worry about being left out in the sun too long. Happened to the best of us. Why do you think we all like you so much. You're REAL.

q1605 said...

Try playing at a bar and drinking so much you owe them money at the end of the night.

q1605 said...

About your writing. This is one more piece of evidence that for them it's all about the cash.
In the light of day they are all about hugs and love.
Under the cover of darkness it's picking pockets and slicing the throats of others.
Fuck'em. I am on no crusade, but if I can slip a dig in some place that might save someone from those hags, I think I'll do it.

Charity said...

Q, regarding your comment "Try playing at a bar and drinking so much you owe them money at the end of the night." ~ I tried self-medicating with alchohol and in the process discovered that I have some deeply buried RAGE. Really big, really scary, R*A*G*E. Which, in my case, is becomes un-buried with alcohol. My rage scared me. In 1977 I gulped down an entire bottle of scotch, followed by an entire bottle of vodka. I weighed about 125 pounds then, so the alcohol poison should have killed me. Instead, I went into a blind fury and destroyed a house. I was more thorough than a wrecking ball. Had it not been my own house, I would surely have been arrested. Thank God no one else was there, I would hate to think what I would have done to a living person. Yikes.. espresso is the hardest thing I drink these days.

q1605 said...

It's been a long time since I played in a band. I know you are fairly religious so level with me. On the hating to lose me thing.
Has God been telling you things about me that I should know?
I mean should I make double sure to wear clean underwear every time I leave the house. Just in case?
Most of what I say I would like to do to my mother is in jest.
But there is a sliver of me that wants to hold her accountable.
If she would just cop to her actions and act like a human that would be as far as it went.
But to be in the same room with her and get what I got in the last conversation we had on the phone would be something she would regret.

Charity said...

No, God doesn't talk to me anymore. Not since I did that EFT tapping placebo thing (kidding, I never did that).

What I mean when I say we would hate to lose you.. where that idea of mine comes from... is simply: recognition. I recognize your rage. I've come face to face with my own potential for extreme, no-boundary blinding hatefilled rage. I freaking scared myself. Do you see what I'm saying, Q? What I know I have deep inside of me, I'm seeing it in you. Recognition.

I had to back way off from my rage because, justified or not, there are these pesky laws. And these days, it's dang hard to get away with breaking said pesky laws, even if you really wanted to. Unless of course you are somebody like Casey Anderson. Or, your Barbarian.

I absolutely believe that your rage, and my rage, are completely normal, all things considered, and absolutely justifiable. But it's very dangerous, in my opinion. It's yet another way that our Ns can turn us into a victim, only this time, a victim of our own actions.

So... deep breaths... happy thoughts... happy thoughts of hands wrapped around the necks of NO NO NO.... deep breaths....

I'm glad you are blogging. I think it helps us to get this vile crap out in the open, among a community of folk who get us. Unless it's a stirring the pot? Sometimes, in my own heart, I'm not so sure which it is.

So then I go:

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Which is not exactly where my personal religious beliefs lie, but whatever works.

Charity said...

By the way, what you said about wearing clean underwear when you leave the house just in case, that's always a good idea, because you just never know what's going to happen. Clean undies, with no holes, and color-coordinated.

Last January I had a freakish accident and took an ambulance ride. Turned out I was OK, not as badly injured as all that blood had led me to believe. But, my underwear almost killed me with embarrassment. It was clean enough, and there were no holes, but.. oh this is so humiliating to admit... my bra was black, and my panties were white. I SAW the EMT guy smirk when he was hooking me up to wires and he saw my mismatched underwear. A black bra and white panties just do NOT go together, you know. I was in a rush that day and had grabbed the first clean things in the pile of clean clothes, you see... OK, truth, we lazy butts were so far behind in our laundry that all I had left to wear that didn't stand up in a corner by itself was a black bra and white panties.

I expect the EMT guys had a good laugh about that one. They probably keep a hidden camera in the back of the ambulance and save the messed-up underwear pictures.

So really. Clean, non-holey, color-coordinated undies is a must, always, everyday, regardless of whether you have anything illegal in mind.

q1605 said...

I think if I hadn't started blogging I would have gone down and set fire to my mother's house after I locked her in.
Trust me on one thing. Unless the EMT was gay, he didn't notice the bra and pantie thing.
Most guys are obtuse to that.
If they match I think it might trigger some hot button in our head, but if they don't it doesn't stand out.
I usually never wear bra's unless I am staying home. But If I wear one out I'll keep your sage words in mind.

Charity said...

Glad to help.

Adela Alba said...

Hm, I always had some nagging doubts about that Emotional Freedom stuff they talk about, though I spent a little time on the forums. It was a decent stepping stone for me at the time.

I'm thinking of taking "Danu" and "Light"'s pages off my resources list on my blog, although I'm a bit conflicted. They have gathered a useful amount of information in one place.

q1605 said...

I just want people to know who they are dealing with. I don't want to push people into conflict with themselves as much as into a healthy dose of consider the source.
I can read Sam Vaknin all day long. I have posted some of his articles.
But at the end of the day I know to take what I can use and leave the rest.
I am sure Danu has been a godsend to many people. Sometimes people don't know when they cross the line into becoming more predator than savior.
With her I think there is calculation from the get go. But I don't want to impose my instincts on others.

Charity said...

Very well said, Q, and I thank you.

Adela, I completely understand your being conflicted. I have no doubt that I would be equally conflicted, if I had not been banned with no explanation and with no (to me) logical or good reason. There are so many excellent and enlightening articles on the DONM site! That's why I thought I had finally found a home, a place where my insanely damaging childhood would be believed, and where I would be accepted. And then, when I wasn't accepted, and at such an unbelievably vulnerable time! - and as I said, with no explanation, and no logical reason that I could discern, I felt like a person who has been crawling through the hot desert for years, starving, dying of thirst, and just when I feel that I can't go another step, I see a wonderful oasis just ahead. With my last bit of dying energy I eagerly rush toward the oasis, the water, the shade trees, the people who will surely be compassionate enough to help me, the tables laden with food - only, as soon as I arrive on the edge of the life-saving oasis I am told to leave, told that I do not belong, and told that this administrative decision is final and not open for debate. With no other explanation that that, I am turned away when I literally feel like I am on the brink of dying!

It was way worse than findint the oasis to be a mirage, because it was real, it still is real - only I was not good enough to be helped by that oasis.

Charity said...

Q, you know what, I am no fan of Sam Vaknin, but I respect and like him far better than Danu/Tracy of DONM, because at least Sam Vaknin doesn't pretend to give a damn for anyone other than himself. He admits that he is always looking out for #1, Himself, and that his goal is to make money, not to help others. His attitude seems to be that if other people get some help and insight in the process of his making money, well that's ok, but it's not his primary aim. Refreshing honesty.

q1605 said...

I don't do cloak and dagger. And that's all they are about.

upsi said...

I don't hear voices from God or have any special tips for you on the advisability of underwear choices, but I would hate to lose you. Many are gone now. it makes me sad and want to keep going. I've always liked How you call our blogs place and how you refer to my blog as my place - like we're all just down the street from each other in a virtual acon neighborhood. or just down the hall. You foster a good conversation. You have an incredibly huge heart and you make me laugh. Hanging on a shingle in the blogosphere is one of the best things I ever did - glad you did too.

q1605 said...

Hey upsi. Those are very kind words.
I wanna have your babies
I see 'em springin' up like daisies

upsi said...

meant every word. and yes, you can have my babies.