Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Sorry Bess. I have to steal your post.

This is from  Bess's latest post where she posted a link from. Anna V's blog.

This articulates my feelings about the dust up.

It is impossible to explain how evil came into being without, in some substantive way, lessening it. We assume when something is explained to our satisfaction that we've taken the mystery out of the puzzle. Its not evil...its the result of abuse. Its not evil...they have messed up chemicals in their brains. Its not evil...their genetics are at fault. Any explanation of the etiology of evil must discount the power of choice, free will, and personal responsibility. Period.

Don't fall for what passes for "truth" by the prescribers of false righteousness. They want peace at all costs. They are willing to overlook the crimes of abusers in order to keep things looking good on the surface. They want you to screw yourself by pretending someone didn't injure you, steal from you, slander you, etc. They demand you submit to bad treatment so they don't have to deal with anything as messy as your hurt or angry feelings at having been crapped on and screwed yet again. See what I'm saying? These people who condemn your negative feelings are demanding you put up with being raped. They are demanding your silence. In fact, in a real sense, they are piling on with the narcissist. They don't want to be inconvenienced by your justifiable reactions to evil deeds done to you or yours. Do not give moral weight to the opinions of someone who is only studying their own convenience and therefore willing to subvert justice in the name of a false peace or truce with evil.

Give up your quest to find peace at the cost of honesty. Be honest with yourself about what you feel. Attempts to lessen the guilt of the guilty is an illegitimate way to cope with your negative reactions to them. Accept the truth that a decent person should be angry and outraged at perverted and evil behaviors. Evil people create themselves. They stand before God Himself with no excuses for their evil deeds. He will strip away all their excuses in the final judgment and they will be forced to bear the full guilt for their choices. We should quit trying to be better than God Himself.

35 comments:

vicariousrising said...

I'm glad Anna V got well enough to walk away from blogging on narcissism, but damn, do I wish she were still active for my own selfish purposes.

q1605 said...

Sorry VR. I have multiple personality disorder. Which persona would you like to speak with?

Bess said...

I'm glad you took the post!

vicariousrising said...

Bwahahaha. I'll take dystopian rock god Lord Q, please.

q1605 said...

Coming right up VR. Would you like the Lord Q that speaks from the right side of his face or the left side.

Bess Thanks. I should have asked first but..........
I'm glad you had that in your mental Rolodex.

vicariousrising said...

Gee whiz, I get to choose sides? Which one is less passive-aggressive? I prefer aggressive, thanks.

Tundra Woman said...

"Divisiveness" is another tactic that allows us/ME to defocus from our/MY OWN shit and smear it around and in walks the N Binary Black and White Thinking: This is "gooood" (the picture from one of your previous Posts, q) and THIS is "Baaddd."
BS.
Many Voices, Many Rooms. But calling truth-as ugly as it may be-is really challenging when you/I can't allow your/my OWN anger, Righteous Indignation at the treatment you/I endured for YEARS from your/my NPs which results in de-foucusing from the discomfort in dealing with one's OWN/mine anger/Righteous Indignation.
Please allow me to raise my hand and cop to the above. That's my experience and my opinion.
But the cost to me for doing so? Incalculable. I played "dodge the truth, dodge the feelings" for far too many years.
I told myself such stuff re: Psychob, "Well, she MEANS well." Reality? NO, she didn't. I told myself, "She didn't REALLY mean it THAT WAY." Reality? Yes, she did. "OK, she won't do THAT again." Reality? She did-repeatedly-and why not? There was a human being on the other side well trained that couldn't reach down, grab hold of my REALITY that screamed behaviorally, "Here it IS, TW ya damn twit." Why should she bother covering up her perfidy when I was scratchin' and covering up her shit in her litter box the second she jumped out of it?
And in that respect I have said repeatedly, Psychob DID NOT LIE. Not behaviorally.
I lied to myself. It was too painful to allow the behavioral reality to permeate, too threatening. And for that I AM RESPONSIBLE. And with responsibility comes it's flip side, freedom to decide morally, ethically and practically what flies behaviorally AND in words and what doesn't in my world and ACT on that knowledge. I'm done cleaning someone else's litter box-not my responsibility, not within the scope of my abilities. I can't-nor should I "fix it." Mine gets crappy enough, thanks.
I'm not the purveyor of someone else's truth. I'm no one's spokesperson but my own. When I allowed Psychob to dictate my reality, to have mushy-to-non-existant boundaries I was allowing a screaming MNarc to drive this bus called my life. I was TOO AFRAID, and too comfortable in my discomfort to speak my truth and act on it.
So I did the Dance of Denial and PC until I didn't.
It was a long-ass haul, but gave me something I had never experienced: Peace of Mind. A willingness to allow true humility to enter, to recognize my powerlessness over others.
I sing my own song. You wanna harmonize, great. If not, that's fine. IMO, we're simply singing in different keys, no more, no less.
But I'll own mine. I'm not hiding, dressing it up or taking it out to make it more "palatable" to me or anyone else. I do have "absolutes." Despite the reality my "grey areas" were so elastic they faded out to non-existant I learned (MON DIEU, did I ever) that eating my own reality and humanity, self-cannibilizing was destroying ME.
TW

vicariousrising said...

"Self-cannibalizing". Exactly, TW. That's what happens when you grow up starved for love.

upsi said...

Amen, TW

Trisha said...

Hi Q1605,

I've said some hurtful things towards you that I wish I hadn't. I am truly sorry for hinting that you were probably an N and the other things(you already used them in your reply here..so you know which ones I mean). I was likely venting anger that should have been aimed at mommie dearest. It was unfair to you. Seems I'm in that pesky part of healing where I'm triggered a lot and surprisingly reactive. Of course, I expect nothing from you, but I do want you to know I am sorry.
It's just sad that anyone felt silenced (me included)because it seems there was more a misunderstanding than anything else. The letter to Upsi: people understandably defending their co-blogger and in many cases, friend Upsi. Like you said Q, it is wonderful to imagine that if I am really upset/triggered by some unfairness that you and others would come to my defense...I like that. I get that. That is a sense of a community of bloggers, I see that. However, just as you have a right and should be encouraged to express yourself freely and fully, so should I, CS and a number of other people upset by this. There is more than one perspective here...there's one of support for Upsi, and I felt for her, then there is one of those of us who felt triggered by how that support was expressed. We also have an equal right to express those thoughts and feelings. Who is silencing who? Freedom of expression can not be just for one opinion. Some of us took the entire thing way too personally, I know I sure did. With every blog where you referred to the dust up, I read your anger and criticsm and felt it was directed partially at me because you wanted to silence me and those who felt differently than you and some others did. I see now, from this re-post on your blog, that you and I actually 100% agree about this free speech thing. There was a misunderstanding. I thought I'd send this before we have yet another misunderstanding...this post does not describe me, I have always confronted, never cowered from a challenge or any unfairness, ever. I would never side with an N. And those who know me even a little would laugh out loud if anyone thought of me as wanting peace more than honesty. I am driven to find honesty and fairness. Just so you know, even if you don't care. ;)

Take Care,
Trisha

q1605 said...

You know what? That's a pretty damn cool thing to do. I am writing this off the cuff so don't be looking for me to wax poetic. I am the king of knee jerk and often find myself out on a limb, sawing it out from under me. I don't like being in a situation where someone feels they need to apologize to me.
I too, am sorry because you didn't get to where you got without my contributing from my end so please accept my apology.
I like the way you stand up for yourself. If I am leaning on you too hard I'd much rather you tell me what you really think.

q1605 said...

And just so you know. If someone came at you like Charity did Upsi. I'd go down swinging before I let them take you out.

Trisha said...

Q, thanks soo much. If upon reflection you have any lingering stuff you think I need to own, please talk to me. I really feel bad that my eff-up caused any upset.
From: The Queen of knee-jerk

q1605 said...

No. One shot clears the deck for me. Forget it ever happened.

upsi said...

That was a cool thing that just happened.

Gladys said...

I think so too. This was a very cool exchange, both of you.

q1605 said...

This is one of those times that internet lag ruins the affect. I would like to all be somewhere that I could spring for the first round and we could all hear each others voice's and relax and get to know one another on a more real level.

Bess said...

I call second round, and here's $5 for the jukebox:)

Gladys said...

If any of you live anywhere near the DC area I would drive to a bar/restaurant, buy the first AND second round and talk to you all damned day.

Bess said...

Dammit - I'm from corn country.

Bess said...

Dammit - I'm from corn country.

q1605 said...

That's what I am afraid of Gladys. You would talk to us.
All damned day.
All of it.
Talk..
.
.
Talk
Talk
Talk
Joking luv ...just joking

jessie said...

Man, the outcome of all of this has been really, really cool. Thanks for letting me observe.
I'd buy a round too, at the ACoN bar!

Gladys said...

shut UP Q. Stupid KUH YEWWW. I'm not all talky. Although, for some reason my husband always plays that George Thorogood song on the juke for me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fHxFS9PiYM

Besides, with a free icy cold beer in yer fist, whudya care??

upsi said...

I'm in Chicago - I wish I had a teleporter!

Texarkana Friend said...

I think we all need to fly to Texas to celebrate! I can't find a good cheese enchilada around these parts!

q1605 said...

Free icy cold beer. Now your talkin'
Ah you just can't get good Tex Mex any where but Texas.

upsi said...

ULB band practice, all aboard.

q1605 said...

Upsi. I just got off map quest. The spot that exactly splits the distance between all of us is in Pensutucky New Grubbinhoe.
That's right up the road from Elephant's Butte.
I'll be there at 8

upsi said...

Roadtrip!

q1605 said...

Done!

Tundra Woman said...

"Security" is doin' your "CYA" and rounding up the "temporarily not working" Publicists who've actually NOT been since the long arm of Rupert Murdoch got a bit....prunned...so minimal expenses there. It's called an "Internship." That's where I get you to do all kinds of "I really, really REALLY don't wanna waste my time on THIS shit" and you do. Great. A match made in heaven.
Looks good on a Resume. ;)
TW

Tundra Woman said...

So, I guess that makes me "PR" as well, huh?
OK, Let's talk about a raise.....
TW

vicariousrising said...

See, this is why we all need to say our piece. We all grew up unheard. Now, we get a chance to be assholes and be taken down a peg and loved at the same time.

That's this girl's lifelong dream.

Anonymous said...

Just got back from being in Arizona a few days, totally love the posts from Trisha and Q on here. : )

Sis