Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Thrasher


Three years ago today, I ran screaming from the house of The Barbarian. Since that time, the light from the sun has traveled seventy one percent of the distance to Proxima Centauri.  Mercury has orbited the sun 12.4475 times, and the US has racked up debt to the tune of 16 trillion dollars.


Down here in Texas, we are still swabbing alcohol on the injection site of prisoners before we put them to death. We have to be careful about who we sell rope and cans of gas to. And the Barbarian has made zero effort to redeem herself.
What my mother HAS done is to cut me out of her will. Became bestess bud's with my ex-wife. Hired my ex-wives boyfriend to paint her house. The same guy that precipitated our divorce. Kept a log of every person that called while I lived down there and dialed them up and blasted me to who ever answered. Even if she got a wrong number.
Regarding her and my borderline ex. I have never seen two people that so thoroughly despised one another. Now they have developed a fast friendship with me as their common enemy. She has befriended the woman who stole and forged checks from my glass shop. And the three of them cackle like setting hens about fucking me over as each one denies to the others that they have ever done an underhanded thing in their lives.
The Barbarian was determined to screw me the instant I walked out of her house. Long before I took the offensive. Long before my campaign to make her the pariah of North Texas.
It was the essence of devalue and discard.
It illustrates what these people really feel for their sons and daughters.
As soon as I re-issued the old newspaper clippings regarding her murderous life, I received a call from the Garland police. I never called them back. If they want me, they can come and get me.
Bust me or shut the fu fu fu
....bust me or shut the fu fu.
Bust me or shut fn fn
Arrest me or pipe down will ya.
I didn't break any laws. They know it and so do I.
So fuck the do right boys,  fuck the Barbarian, fuck my borderline ex wife, and fuck that poofy, bony ass, stick of a red hat wearing decrepit slut that can't keep her fingers out of the till.
And if you can still get it back up, fuck'em all again.
That bitch did every despicable thing she could imagine. Except pick up a phone and call me.

Why am I telling you this?
Because in every narcissist there is little bit of Barbarian. Yours has some too. The opportunity to bloom just hasn't presented itself.
If those of you in low contact or medium chill think you are exempt from this kind of shit, start tossing around the prospect of  no contact and watch your narcissist turn on a dime.
A pathological narcissist will not be coerced into behaving more like a human and less like a werewolf just because they are making you miserable. The thought of losing their "beloved" child because of their hard headed, my way or the highway thinking, runs through their minds like shit through a goose.
The thought of puny you issuing edicts or ultimatums will set them off like a roman candle.
Passive resistance is for suicides. The philosophy of going limp like a two year old dressing for a blizzard just won't work. It pisses them off more.
Gandhi is the fuck-tard that came up with that hogwash. It served him well didn't it?
When he wasn't rotting in prison and before he was assassinated.
It flies in the face of self preservation. Where would we be if our ancestors had reasoned with Saber Toothed Tigers?
It's dangerous to bury your head in the sand while crazy people are driving around using their feet to steer and hanging out the window swinging a baseball bat.
Maybe a live chicken is better than a dead duck, but after a point discretion is no longer discretion. Discretion is painting a bulls-eye on the back of your head and taping a kick me sign to your back.
These guys are not the rotting carcass of an albatross that the powers that be tied around our necks to punish us.
They are human. And they are fallible, and they walk the same road as us.
Remove that carcass and move on.
If it comes down to me or them, I pick me.

I searched out my companions,
Who were lost in crystal canyons
When the aimless blade of science
Slashed the pearly gates.

It was then I knew I'd had enough,
Burned my credit card for fuel
Headed out to where the pavement
turns to sand
With a one-way ticket
to the land of truth
And my suitcase in my hand
How I lost my friends
I still don't understand.




27 comments:

Gladys said...

Im on my nook so I have to keep this short. Go you for getting out. Go you for kicking that fucking whore in the face. Go you for revisiting all of it for the benefit of the rest of us Ungrateful Little Bastards.

I love you please marry me. VIRTUALLY AND PLATONICALLY of course. JEEBUS.

upsi said...

"I love myself / Better than you / I know it's wrong / but what can I do" -Nirvana

Holy shit Q, you said you were failing miserably writing this post! fucking kick ass every single line, i want to quote like 4 that made me giggle like a kid in a tire swing on the playground. goddamn my friend well done.

There is a little Barbarian, you know it. Start talking about pulling the plug on this whole bullshit enterprise and they'll show you their true face. tooth and motherfucking nail until you have no choice but to shut it down.

and seriously i think you just settled the whole debate about the way to evolve from the malignant narcissism - recognize the danger. you don't have a sleepover with a fucking rabbid bear. you don't cozy up nude and bleeding in a sharktank. you don't narrowly escape certain death only to wander back down that road again. fuck no you run for the hills.

i'm so glad i found you. you are a texas goldmine!

q1605 said...

You guys slay me.

Tundra Woman said...

The long and arduous road to NC is exactly that. It takes what it takes certainly no two situations are alike. As soon as Psychb realized I was backing away slowly from the Drama LC/MC (it took her awhile, but not nearly as long as it took ME to start on the road to self-preservation) she ramped up.
Which led not surprisingly to NC.
O.M.G. Her horrendous 18 yr. scorched-earth WAR against me until her physical death was spectacular in scope and sheer tenacity. If my silly little self had any doubts what kind of nasty, vicious, malignant sub-human I was dealing with she bitch-slapped it out of me pronto. And then kept reminding me-as if I REALLY needed it-just why I did what I did which really wasn't necessary after the first few IEDs or the first few years. She wasn't the "passive-aggressive" type-half way measures were never an option in her world. She was the "aggressive-MORE AGGRESSIVE" type and that's why I never talk too much about what happened. I'm afraid some ACoN will read it, shut down their 'puter and "Annie/Andy git yer gun." And use it on the wrong person-themselves.
I am absolutely honest when I say I was beginning to think she was gonna out-live ME. For a whole variety of reasons (including she was gonna ensure I didn't.)
q, ya made it out. You lived to tell the truth. You're in a whole different place today than you were 3 yrs. ago in every sense of the term.
What an adventure, eh?
TW

vicariousrising said...

Oh, no doubt there's a Barbarian in my mother. She'd have offed me as a tyke if she thought she could've gotten away with it (plus, at the time, I think it went against her view of herself as a good mother -- I was just a pain in the ass child who sometimes pushed her into irrational behavior -- and damn me, if I didn't buy it.)

I don't know what crazy shit is happening in my mother's head and I don't want to. I just want her to leave me the fuck alone. She's no good at making friends, so I have little to worry about in terms of flying monkeys outside my father, brother & sister.

Q, I agree with Upsi about you being a Texas Goldmine. It helps to laugh through my anger and sadness. I raise my glass to you! Congrats on 3 years!

upsi said...

"The thought of puny you issuing edicts or ultimatums will set them off like a roman candle."

^So true I had to loop back. They are seriously so offended by it!

Like how dare you, tiny ant on my sleeve, dare tell me shit.

Just who the fuck do we bastards think we are?

Also, I just can't imagine how truly foul she is to drive such a nice guy like you away.

Gladys said...

(Back from my Nook to my computer, so I can leave a longer comment)

Q, you know I for one am COMPLETELY behind utter and total annihilation of any narc, at all times. The passive Ghandi routine is just a bunch of CRAP, and people use it because (I think) they don't want to act and take charge. Because they are (possibly) still afraid and locked down in Victim Mode and have never imagined saying a simple 'no' to a narc. Much less a (metaphorical) bat to the head.

That's why I advocate filming or taping them, so that their lies are big sores to them - you can't cover up a lie when someone has you on TAPE. The spin doctoring that would take would make me laugh.

Besides - once you figure out that they have NO POWER other than what you give them - even if, as in TW's case they hire PIs and spies, you are free to HIRE ONE BACK. YOU have all the power! Cut off contact, and proceed with outing them and torturing their little minds. They deserve it. And revenge IS sweet.

The fear that we would then become like them? YOU CAN'T. You are hunting a NARC at that point. Narcs hunt for innocent victims. Are YOU hunting an innocent victim? NO! You wouldn't think of it! Neutralizing a predator is a service to mankind. It makes you a savior, not a narc.

Maybe some are still clinging to the useless belief that the parent will come around, will treat them better. Read these blogs. IT NEVER GETS BETTER. The narc never changes their slimy stripes.

And Q is right on the money - if you told a friend you were going NC with them, they would be puzzled and probably hurt, but would drop off the map. Nobody in their right mind stalks someone because they don't want to talk to them anymore. But your NARC? They will lose their shit and - as TW said, ramp up to almost a scorched earth campaign.

Because they are NOT right in the mind. UGH - I'm re-writing Shakespear. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the narcs." (And by 'kill' I mean, grapple with. I AM NOT ADVOCATING KILLING. That was Shakespeare.)

q1605 said...

I got the opposite of a stalking campaign. My mother aligned herself with every person that hates me.
If you can't tell by the descriptions my ex-wife and ex-employee are crazy beyond believe. She was someone in the periphery of a group I had known for decades. They told me things about her it would have been nice to know BEFORE I hired her.
My point is that my mother is hanging with two of the craziest bitches I know. And that alliance is more important to her than working things out with her son.
And seeing how disposable I am to her casts a whole new light on everything from the past.
All her crazy actions all make sense. In that they make no sense at all.

Gladys said...

It is horrifying in the extreme that a parent not only wants to destroy you - bad enough, that - but that she wanted an ARMY of Q-haters. That she hated you SO MUCH.

I can't even think of anything else to say.

q1605 said...

What the fuck did I ever do to her? I was the obedient boot licker who cut her meat for her because she had a hard time doing it after her stroke.
Shopped for groceries. Cleaned her house. Did yard work.
She couldn't shove me under a bus fast enough.

jessie said...

"What the fuck did I ever do to her?" Interesting Q, because I have been writing a post in my head about this very topic. What the hell have I ever done to warrant being branded such a piece of shit?

Congratulations on 3 years!

Anonymous said...

"All her crazy actions all make sense. In that they make no sense at all".
That's what I was saying a couple of weeks ago on here, her stuff is senseless. You can't make crazy into something that makes sense.

It does seem to be about 'winning' with her. Winning what I don't know. Kind of like Charlie Sheen going around saying WINNING. Destruction is 'winning' to her.

Sis

Tundra Woman said...

When I was going through this there were NO stalking laws, aggravated harassment laws or legal protections in place for victims. The laws have changed, finally after far too many of us were injured or killed. If the legal redress available now had been available then, you can be sure I would have used every tool at my command: This is the ONLY way to go with NPs like Psychob. I DID use what was available then: She ambushed me at my residence in '87, three yrs. post NC and SEVERAL moves across states. I lived a very long day's drive from her at the time. This was NOT my permanent residence, BTY: It was a work related residence in a very quiet, suburban neighborhood. All my mail etc. was sent to my permanent address. At 10:30 one morning I heard a knock at the front door, threw on a robe, hair in towel and opened the door. Who was standing there but Psychob, already attempting to get in the locked storm door. I told her she was "uninvited, un-welcomed, get the hell out of here" and slammed the door in her face. She then proceeded to take a coin out of her purse and screaming and sobbing, making a huge scene, scratching the coin on the windows as she circled the residence. I opened the drapes with phone in hand, called out to her, "I'm calling the police NOW " and as soon as she saw me start dialing, instant metamorphosis: Screaming and sobbing stopped mid-throat, she took off "like her ass was on fire," ran to her vehicle and took off. By the time the police arrived they looked all over for her (I have NO doubt they did in view of the nature of my employment at the time) but could not find her. She apparently pre-planned her get-away and must have hit the interstate ASAP. I ABSOLUTELY would have had her arrested-even if the only charges that could be levied were simple harassment and trespassing, essentially comparable to a ticket for littering. This is the ONLY type of "intervention" that gets their attention. It is the only time I saw her back down-the prospect of an arrest. After that incident her tactics became far more circumspect in that it became a terrorist campaign of total annihilation. Her affluence and desire to destroy me and my family afforded her the luxury of paying for anything- and illegal was no detriment to her-she desired. Including my death. I am NOT exaggerating. You can not arrest people for what they "might" do. We did, however, take precautions that were necessary and they became simply a part of our daily lives. Hope that brings you up to date. Not all EPs are the same. However, when you're dealing with one who is as much a Barbarian, a sociopath or MN with an AGENDA and nothing to do but plot and plan (no friends, no other interests) and virtually unlimited financial resources you are dealing with a whole different level/response than an MN who is indifferent to actively pursuing you to your death if possible. The Barbarian is also very dangerous and very capable of homicide; however she is not actively pursuing q but I have no doubt if he was within shooting range, she'd do it. The laws in place now offer so much more: Any AC who is dealing with in-person ambushes, phone calls, emails etc. and has notified the NP (correctly, from a legal POV) should take every advantage of these legal options for redress. Too many of us have been physically injured or killed so these laws could finally come to fruition. There's soul-murder and then there's the "packages," "unfortunate accidents," abducted children, and bullets to the heart. The last two are metaphorically the same. You would never pick Psychob out of a crowd anymore than The Barbarian: That doesn't mean you can't pick them out of a line-up or file charges. Don't hesitate to use every legal recourse available to you-FIRST time, every time. And I hope that clarifies at least in part WHY I am so hard-core NC, period the end.
TW

Vanci said...

Q,
Just stopped in for a moment and wanted to say two things:
First, excellent, excellent post. I love your writing and can't thank you enough for sharing your Q-riffic self with us out here in ACoN blogland.

Second, congrats on 3 years of NC.

Love,
Vanci

q1605 said...

Hiyo Vanci and TW.

NC is a little less than 3 years. I blasted her with assorted letters for a couple of months.

q1605 said...

I know sis. Someone contacted me by e-mail and said no wonder you hate her. Hell her tagging up with my ex and the V chick (you know who) is just what you expect from her.
I've watched her do this to other people all my life.
My trip to south Texas let me know she would give me no quarter.
The only surprise is that she cut off her main sources of goto emergency help. Those other chicks won't be good for much.
Aw fuck it. I can't wait until she is rotting away on a piss soaked mattress

Anonymous said...

TW, very astute of you:
"The Barbarian is also very dangerous and very capable of homicide." She wanted me to go down there in 2004, I think to drive her around to bars. But I also had a feeling she was going to frame me for some felony she'd probably done so I said no way. That started my NC. When my son said in 2009 he was going to by her house and visit I said that wasn't a good idea. I figured she'd know he was coming but fire a bullet through the door anyway and then claim someone was breaking in. I would trust Charles Manson more than her. And if anyone says we're just being mean, I say go hang out with her a while and see how long it is before you get arrested for something she's done, LOL.

Sis

q1605 said...

Sis. What made you think of the frame up? I wouldn't put it past her to shoot one of us.
If you remember that post where I walked out the front to not have to see her in the den and she heard me in the garage and cam out and was giving me shit and then got this cold calculated affect and said.
Did you know someone tried to break in the front just now?
She knew it was me but her tone of voice was like a warning.
Nit a heads up but a keep it up fuck face and I'll deal with you.
She's certainly not above framing someone if she can. I don't think she is smart enough to pull it off.
She likes it when she is the only one talking to the law.

Anonymous said...

She was determined to get me down there after her husband's funeral (she had no interest in me being there for the funeral), she was demanding I go the week after the funeral. That made no sense to me. Then I had a dream one night that she had given him something to drink, and she wanted my fingerprints on the glass. (oh here, have a soda). Sounds paranoid I know, but you can't think paranoid enough to protect yourself around her.

Sis

Tundra Woman said...

Again, if people have not lived this, they'd think WE were nuts or paranoid. We're not; just experienced. Sis, I'm glad you saw the set up: She's done it before, she'll do it again.
It seems when these programs re: Our MN's show up on some TV program, people have no problem believing them. What they don't realize is if it's a "True Crime" type of show and not some "Reality" (which isn't) Program YES, this does happen. These perps do NOT live in a vacuum-they DO have spouses (if they're alive) kids, family, extended family etc. This is NOT "The Real Housewives of..." whatever.
Do they NOT REALIZE we HAVE the "adults" as parents who DO THIS SHIT?
Yeesch.
TW

Anonymous said...

That's true, TW, we see a t.v. show and right away recognize the bad guy. And it's easier to believe it when we see it in a fictional character or watching the 11 pm news in the safety of our homes. But when the bad guy is living in our homes people tend to go into denial mode.

Sis

Tundra Woman said...

Yeah, including the ACs who see all the signs but think (compare, rather than share) "Well, it's not THAT bad" to which I wanna add "YET."
That's why I don't like to say a whole lot specifically because AC's also do the Denial Dance quite adeptly because they've been raised to do so.
TW

q1605 said...

With all due respect to the dearly departed, wouldn't that have been great if she poisoned him and got caught.
I don't think they did an autopsy. You called me and said to get the f down there because there was some kind of row but no one ever said a word to me about any untoward suspicions.
Man.
If Dorothy had said something.
Or or or.
She would do it if she could get away with it.
He supposedly died of a heart attack. But mom said he went into convulsions. Sounds like...
I'm dreaming.

Anonymous said...

If they didn't do an autopsy how do they know what he died of? We just watched that movie Bernie, at least that was one sociopath in Texas who went to jail.

Sis

q1605 said...

Don't forget all "facts" are filtered through the Barbarian. I didn't think they did because he was like two hundred and forty seven years old.
When you called didn't you sat there was something up and I needed to hoof it down there with great haste.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I wanted you to get over there, she sounded crazy on the phone. LOL, okay, crazier than usual.

Sis

q1605 said...

Can you narrow that down. She takes crazy into string theory numbers of dimensions.