Tuesday, January 15, 2013

My swan song about her swan song.

                                            


If you are within the sound of my voice. You will be dead some day.
If you are reading this, you will be dead.
If you never hear of this blog you will be dead.
If you are confined to a wheelchair and type with a stick attached to your head, you will be dead.
Lance Armstrong, you will be dead. Oprah. You too.
All of every thing you know, and every body you know, here, there, and every where will be dead and gone.
Crazy people have a sweaty grip on this concept.
They can see it in everybody else's future but their own.
Oh boy! says they, you just wait. I'll see you in hell.
And they probably will.
But I will have to die to catch up to them.
Or they will have to die and catch up to me.
Either way both of us have to kick he bucket.
Sociopath's just gotta take it beyond the grave. Like they are going to be hanging around to watch the carnage they will unleash. Just as soon as they?
Any one?
Any one?
That's right.
As soon as they are dead.
What kind of a sick fuck plans carnage from beyond the grave?
People like my mother. That's who.
To her death was not the ending of a life. It was the beginning of the flip side of the mind fuck record.
Oh boy! I have yanked those fuckers chains for 50 and 60 years respectively. I have ruined Christmas's. Birthdays. I have wrecked marriages. Kept my family teetering on bankruptcy until they got old enough to run like their ass just burst into flames.
On my way out says she....if I can't take it with me, I am going to wipe myself with it and toss it to the most wretched bottom feeding whore that will exist after I am gone.
Too bad no one down here gives a fuck. Oh it would have been nice. You betcha sheeit.
But to think me and the sis ever counted on any money, you would think we are as stupid as my mother did.
This is the barbarians M.O.
Like this isn't just more of the same we got from her all our lives. It would be nice if all the ways I was compromised. If every thing of value was ever recovered after bailing her out of jail for her first degree murder charge.After all the times we had to move to keep her from humping the whole goddamn neighborhood. After she drove my father down like a dog.But we don't count the cost of bailing HER out. That's too cumbersome for her delusion.It's all about what have we done for her lately. 
I came into his world broke
It's OK to go out that way.


31 comments:

mulderfan said...

I find myself wishing there really WAS an afterlife just so I could say to Barbara, "You're dead you idiot! Q and Sis are alive and thriving without you and your fucking money. So, YOU LOSE sucker!"

vicariousrising said...

I was reading a story about a guy who divorced his parents when he was12. He's in his 30s now and his mother died a few years back. He says he regrets not forgiving her while she was alive. For me, this does not compute. Whenever my dad would say I'd regret not being a better daughter one day because your family won't always be around, it did not compute. My gut says the woman who have birth to me adds nothing to this world by her being in it. She's a black hole.

Why does my father not ask my mother to be a better human? Why is she the one above reproach?

Psychos and their flunkies...

q1605 said...

Yeah. You grow up eating their shit and you are supposed to lick your lips and ask for more.
I've seen a lot of home town hits and thought I would save lurkers the hassle of combing through the archives and nail my position down on the Barbarian.
I think her squandering assets that has been in the family for 6 generations would sum her up.
But just in case any one reading my blog and is thinking no wonder she stiffed them can re-access the situation.
We weren't born ungrateful bastards.
We picked it up along the way.
It's was the only coping mechanism that worked.

Anonymous said...

Before our granny died she told our mother to sell the farm and divide it up in thirds: Q would get a third, I would get a third, our mother a third. So of course that got forgotten stat.

Sis

Door mat said...

I agree with mulderfan!
It comes across to me, that neither you or sis are ungrateful for a thing! In fact, you're not concerned with the financial stuff, it's the 'see I can still fuck with you when I'm dead' stuff that's upsetting - which, to most people is very crystal clear. This was about one last hurrah because, try she might, she didn't walk you to your deaths, physically and metephorically. She wanted to notch a win for 'screwing my children over one last time and not having to deal with it'.
Good for her, she's consistent! Bad for her, children love their parents always, and she couldn't put her shit aside to accept and feel that pure love and offer all that any child wants, to be loved in return.
That's my bit anyhow.

mulderfan said...

If the outside world had any doubts about the real Barbara, her "swan song" cleared away any doubts. That she wanted to leave a legacy of hurt makes her a piece of garbage in the eyes of every decent human being. IMO the ex may be the only person alive that thinks it was an OK thing to do.

At least, as I've said before, she did Q and Sis a favour by clearing away any vestiges of guilt they might have had.

Tundra Woman said...

^Ditto, all the above.
The Barbarian and the ex: A folie a deux of sociopathy.
TW

Anonymous said...

You're right, we would have been satisfied to have just been loved by our mother. Not once did she ever say she loved us or anyone else. I guess in that instance she didn't feel like lying. I can't imagine having a childhood where the mother wasn't mean and unloving. I got that from my granny, she was awesome!

Sis

q1605 said...

I am pretty sure that she drove me away from her on purpose. She would be waiting at the door for me and the second I walk in start raging at me. Until finally I walked. I am sure nobody ever heard that part of the story because I heard how she talked about me from my current S.O.
She would specifically ask me to do something for her at her house and then while I was doing it call me ex/current wife and tell her I must be high because I just walked in and started x,y,x.
I think she was disappointed that I followed through on my promise to look after her.It's no fun tell people your son is nice and is making sure that you don't do without.
What's fun for her is to tell every body what a miserable piece of shit he is and boo hoo nobody loves me.
If I may quote Tony Montana.
Well look at jew now.

q1605 said...

I am sure as she lay dying she was busting a nut thinking how cool it's going to be when I get her 100 dollar check.
She came and went a the same time.

Anonymous said...

That's the thing, people she knew only heard her side of things. And believe me, we have decades and decades of stuff to tell about her. She never had a good word to say about anybody, not even the person she left the inheritance to. I can't count how many times she called her names and said awful things about her.

Sis

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is, if her mother had done to her what she did to us she would have come unglued. I have no idea what she would have done. I mean she was someone you couldn't have one argument with or disagree without about anything... well, without being disinherited, LOL.

Sis

Tundra Woman said...

It truly is a shame we aren't able to write their obituaries. At the very least the obits could be tempered with some reality and factual info instead of more BS.
TW

Anonymous said...

that's another thing, I can't even find an obit for her. I feel like calling the funeral home and asking them if there was really a funeral?

Sis

Gladys said...

Q, please tell me this isnt't REALLY your 'swan song'?

>came and went at the same time< orange juice HURTS when you snort it out your nose, STUPID Q.

Sis, can't you guys just write an obit and submit it to the paper?? They don't only take them from one source, you just pay the man and hand him your verbiage.

q1605 said...

Nah I am just tired of beating this dead horse. I have come down with the flu so I am hiding under the bed.

Anonymous said...

Sending you lots of Airborne and Vitamin C, hoping you get better soon!

Sis

mulderfan said...

Where I live the paper requires a copy of the Death Certificate in order for you to run an Obit. Prevents practical jokes.

Gladys said...

Ah Mulder, that makes sense. As soon as I saw your comment I thought about all the fun you could have running fake obits!!

q1605 said...

I popped in to say you guys are welcome to carry on but you are way ahead of me.

Gladys said...

Hope you feel better Q.

q1605 said...

"Tramp -- tramp -- tramp; that's the dead; tramp -- tramp -- tramp; they're coming after me; but I won't go. Oh, they're here! don't touch me -- don't! hands off -- they're cold; let go. Oh, let a poor devil alone!"

Gladys said...

Don't let 'em take you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awrem5pfhBk

Anonymous said...

Good lord, our previous zombie talk has somehow influenced my husband's dreams and he doesn't even know what we discuss on here. He has an N sister whom he hasn't talked to in 7 years. Last night he dreamed that she died and became a zombie and was chasing him around going for his brains, and she had her zombie friends with her.

Sis

q1605 said...

HAHAHAHAH Gladys That's the greatest.
I've never seen Army of Darkness but I love Bruce Campbell. I have Bubba Ho-tep.

Gladys said...

Q. YOU HAVE TO WATCH THAT MOVIE. It - oh, if I could grab your tee shirt with both hands and get my face real close to you and bug my eyes out and yell WATCH THAT MOVIE I would do that. (I have nice breath) (I said breath) (shut up ULBs I don't need your guff)

(maybe I need it a little bit)

Gladys said...

Sis, LOL on the zombies in your hubbie's dreams! It's got to be osmosis. I keep whispering "Vacaaation in Irelaaand" in my husband's ear but so far no lucky clovers...

q1605 said...

I have Evil Dead 2 on DVD. And Bubba Ho-tep. I love Bruce Campbell.

Gladys said...

But but but - srsly. Just, if you come across it, watch it. It's funny on purpose, just like that clip. It's one of the movies Mike and I watched over and over and over

q1605 said...

Same thing with evil dead 2.
It's hilarious.

acronym said...

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