I have blogged till I can't blog much more and seem to be no closer to an answer about why the sons and daughters of these malignant narcissist monsters turn their lunacy back on ourselves. I grew up like a toddler always handed toys with round holes and then given square pegs to fill them with. No one needs to tell the child that you can't get there from here, he finds it out on his own within minutes and the frustrated reactions ensue. I didn't need to be told that my mother changing from one type of person with others around to a totally different one behind closed doors was not normal but it was all I had to work with so I just kept mentally trying to jam those square pegs in that round hole. The people who should have mitigated her behavior just made it worse. It adds insult on injury when the people around us that could and should step in to remedy the situation turns a blind eye to it and work overtime to cover the crazy persons tracks. We know they are full of shit but what are we supposed to do about it? We can't even count on a steady supply of Captain Crunch much less sane reactions from adults. I guess we carry this frustration into adulthood and lash out at ourselves because we are the only person that doesn't hold us accountable. I grew up standing in the back of a long line to the party of normalcy waiting to get in. Now I am an adult, the line is to get into the party of accountability and I am getting shuttled right to the front.