There are two tragedies in life. One is never getting what you want. The other is getting it. As the children of narcissistic parents we can identify with the first category. But I saw my narcissist mother appear to get everything she wanted. And what she didn't get, she laid to waste. She died around people that were only there for the payday her death would provide. The people that would have been there for no other reason, but the right one, had all been trampled and mangled until we wanted nothing more to do with her.
I have always advocated No Contact, but I don't know if that's getting as far away from these people as prudence dictates. I'll have to get back to you when I figure out how to get farther. I am beginning to think that once you are born to a Narcissist your fate may be sealed.
The problem is that their dogmatic bite out of life is so black and white that the distance No Contact provides removes ones ability to monitor what you think you have left behind. My mother was so entrenched in the "you are with me, or you are against me" school of thought, that the minute I went No Contact, I was dumped in the latter category forever. And that was fair enough. I didn't want her blood money. I just forgot who I was dealing with. And who I was dealing with was a vindictive crazy person. I failed to develop an accurate forecast of what this woman was capable of, despite my life of watching her slash and burn the people who should have been nearest and dearest to her. I went no contact and I let my guard down. But like the earth and the moon. We were still bound together. The perspective may have changed, but never her volatile nature.
Some folks say "Evil prevails when good men fail to act". What they ought to say is, "Evil Prevails."
No Contact with someone as malignant as some Narcissists are may be swapping one hell for another.
And this is just how it is. I will still be a advocate of No Contact. But I will tell you that turning your back on a narcissist can be just as dangerous as sitting across the table from one.