Monday, September 29, 2014

Life's Not Fair.

“There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.” 
― Charles Dickens,  

Suck it Annie!

  John F. Kennedy was not the first person to use the phrase "Life's not fair." In typical narcissist fashion, we have a privileged person telling the down trodden to buck up and make the best of things. Coming from a person whose father paid the price of admission for him to become the most powerful person in the world, his words ring hollow.
  I would tell JFK to shove it.
  I have also heard what an ass wipe his father was. His father Joe nailed every bit of starlet fluff he could throw on a casting couch, despite his long standing marriage to Rose Kennedy,  the Kennedy family matriarch. Joe also had his daughter lobotomized for being a bit too rambunctious. If his daughter were anything like my mother, I would have recommended him going full bore and having her euthanized. For his sake and everyone else's.

  It's hard to fight if the fight ain't fair. Acon's should have had the forethought be born to a rum runner at the height of prohibition, and hope one of your parents doesn't take the family fortune and metaphorically torch it in some back alley. Life looks fair. We all get the same nine month shake in the oven. We all get the same roll of the dice. Some of us come up with seven's and some of us snake eyes. As an Acon blogger it's my job to tell you life is not fair. But I don't want to resort to the same hubris and platitudes I loathe in others. If they could just come up with a better rebuttal than a well placed bon mot for people whose lives were filled with the inequity of living with a psychopath. Or at least put more thought in their words. It's also my job to tell you that life is precious. And that none of us should ever give up trying to make ours better.
If I am going to resort to platitudes let it be this.
Life is not fair, and we all die unhealed. 

My advice to you is in the next life don't be born to people who view you as a cardboard cut out for their delusional sideshow.  

Saturday, September 13, 2014

On a Carousel .............

This is an excerpt from Rev Renee's blog here
I will also link you to her amazon page where you can purchase one of her excellent books.

The Harsh Realities of Life With a Narcissist~ There is nothing we can do to change things. If we are going to stay in the relationship, it will always be what it is now. No amount of reasoning, logic, crying, begging, screaming and yelling, arguing, being nice to the N, showing her love, being patient, being understanding, pussy-footing around her, hiding things from her that we think might set her off, complimenting her, doing favors for her, supporting her, giving her money, walking on eggshells, going to therapy, talking it out, doing everything she tells us to do, etc, etc, will ever stop the abuse. In fact, all of these reactions just reinforce her bad behavior, because a REACTION (of any kind) is exactly what she wants from us.
Consequences MAY work temporarily. When we enforce a consequence, the N may not do that exact misbehavior again, but she will do another one instead. Nothing works permanently, except No Contact.
Repeat after me~ There is NOTHING I can do. It will ALWAYS be like this. Now, are you okay with that? Ready to live the rest of your life in a toxic relationship with a selfish, abusive narcissist or psychopath? Are you willing to waste the next five or ten years or more being continually upset, manipulated, gaslighted and mistreated, now that you know another five or ten years won't matter, because it will NEVER change? The only difference another five or ten years will make is that you will be five or ten years older. If you wake up one day ten years from now stuck in the same depressing, dismal situation, I guarantee you will look back and regret it. I should know~ I wasted 47 years trying to make it work. So, is it time to dump the loser, go No Contact, and start living with joy and freedom? This is the only thing within our power that we can do to change things and go on to live a healthy, peaceful life. It's our choice.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Meryl Streep has No Patience for Bullshit.

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I've become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me, and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience." ~ Meryl Streep

A big tip of the Ten Gallon hat to Mulderfan for sending this my way.