Thursday, August 6, 2015

No Witnesses

  I watched a program called "One Day in Auschwitz". The narrator tells about how Nazis's continued killing Jews long after there was any reason. Not that being Jewish is a reason to be executed. But once the Germans were losing the war and German soldiers were dying by the thousands in the bitter cold at the Russian front from being poorly fed and poorly equipped, the Nazis continued to divert resources to the killing machine that was Auschwitz.
 Holocaust survivor Kitty Hart-Moxon narrates this  story in the hope that it not be forgotten and will never happen again. I had no ancestors die in the war. But her summation sheds light on why my mother continued to destroy my sister and myself even though she was at the end of her life. Moxon says the Nazi regime could never let the barbaric acts in the camps leak to the outside world. They knew what they did was an abomination and letting people survive would be to have the world know how cruel and inhuman this supposedly advanced civilization was. So they continued killing prisoners and  burning structures to the foundations. Anything to destroy evidence that the camp existed and to wipe the slate clean about it's purpose. I am sure that  my mother thought  by effectively ending our existence and any evidence of our existence, she could deny all the things we knew to be the truth and continue to control the narrative of her life from beyond the grave.
 The murder and robbery that was long forgotten but still public record if one cared to look in the right place. Her numerous affairs with married men that broke up more than one marriage. How my sister and I grew up without a father because of her callous and reckless handling of the hearts of others. All evidence of her wrong doing would cease to exist if we ceased to exist.  By killing us literally, or by killing us symbolically by ruining our credibility, would leave no one behind to tarnish her angelic persona with something as bothersome as the truth.  




  Prehistoric civilizations have done this for years. Megalomaniac dictators burned books and smashed  evidence of previous kingdoms down to chiseling offending faces off of statues. Even though my mother is deader than dead. I think it's safe to say the driving force behind her eventual destruction of our family can be described in two words. 
NO WITNESSES



30 comments:

Pandora Viltis said...

Which is why I've always felt that my mother would've offed me if she'd thought she could get away with it. Something about me made her feel exposed. Get rid of me, her false image stays intact.

q1605 said...

Which has been the driving force behind my words since the beginning. My mother didn't do anything any other narcissist would do if they thought they could get away with it.

Joan S said...

It is still going strong, as my mother remains alive. I couldn't even imagine how horrible it is as I have separated myself from the whole cult, but if I even dare to think of it I shudder.

I couldn't live any further back in the woods because I like electricity and running water and tv, but they still come at me. The narcs that don't even know eachother or even met eachother seem to have these ant like antennae and they communicate with eachother. Each one positioned for my destruction. From all over the place, I swear.

It will never end. I will always be a target.

q1605 said...

If you speak that way to the random public, they write you off as a paranoid schizophrenic. That's why we have to keep blogging and tell our cautionary tale. Each ACON that heeds our words, is like setting another prisoner free. Nazi Germany really captures the mindless way narcissists like to scorch the earth behind them. It's senseless, counter intuitive, counter productive, and serves no purpose but to wreck the lives of people they claim to care for. They have the same motives which escapes the normal among us, the same malice and forethought. The same appetite for destruction. The same disregard for human life. Nazi Germany just took it a bit farther than a narc. But the narcs would do the same if they thought they could get away with it.

Joan S said...

I know what I said sounded completely crazy, but it is completely the truth, I swear.

Tundra Woman said...

I firmly believe mine had her own "Final Solution" in mind for me in the form of an "Unfortunate Accident" if she could have found someone to do it. There is ample evidence up to the time of her physical death which indicates she was stil looking. Not only does it leave no witnesses, but the payoff/Supply for having a DEAD DD as opposed to a NC for decades DD is immense.
Q, your's essentially TOLD YOU she was planning to shoot you. Makes me wonder how many of us have CB "parent(s)" who are still carrying lucrative payoff Accidental Death and Dismemberment Policies on us long after we've left-physically and finally, every other way.
TW

q1605 said...

Oh we believe you, Joan we believe you. Most narcissist blogs have such a cross section of survivors of disordered people that no one should ever feel crazy telling their story. That's the point of this. Tell our tales and it not be some obstruction to us all having a good time at some tea party in the garden. My mother went the full boat to premeditated murder. Some have more pedestrian offenders. But living with a crazy person takes it's toll no matter what flavor of insanity is on the menu.

q1605 said...

Also If I had to label myself in the family dynamic, I would have to say I was the golden child and my sister the scapegoat. Luckily my mother could never divide and conquer us. I mainly speak of the day in day out dynamic. But trust me the second I fell out of my mothers good graces she found the coldest way she could find to cut me to the quick.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

I believe you Joan. I wonder if there is a legal way to cancel life insurance policies I may not know about. Hopefully I am too chronically ill to qualify but she may have neglected to tell the insurance company that little bit of information.

I believe I will always be a target too. I have written things already on my blog and said to my friends if anything suspicious happens to me you know where to look. Mine is definitely disappointed I am not dead yet, and it's obvious she would hold the same opinions about me that she held about her sister--"Why does she keep having these surgeries, she needs to go die!" Yes the Nazis were all sociopaths, practicing their scorch-earthed evil policies to the end. One thing Q your mother got noticed by law-enforcement even if they did not succeed in the case against her. I wonder how many sociopath malignant narcs literally get away with murder out there and no cop or newspaper ever notices?

You are very fortunate for your sister Q, mine turned everyone against me. I think the niece is departing too since the emails dried up.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

TW imagine the narc supply they would get from a DD. Suddenly we would be the most wonderful daughter in the world. They would cry copious tears over our demise and put the show on. I watched the showtime when my sister was almost terminally sick when I was young but then guess who was comforting her at night while she cried. Ironic given that girl now hates me.

q1605 said...

Peep I am by no means the go to person on insurance matters but my experience is that it's pretty easy to change beneficiary's unless it is a spouse. If you are trying to remove your spouse from the policy they won't do it without a divorce decree. I would check with a lawyer because thing seem to vary from state to state.

mulderfan said...

Telling our truth is the "worst" thing we can do to them.

mulderfan said...

IMO Q and his sister are a wonderful anomaly. Narcs have a knack of destroying sibling relationships, perhaps so those who share their truth have no one to back up their stories.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Oh Q it's not us. I'm happy with Mr. Peep. I was wondering if one could rip their name off the policy maybe a narc bought on us or something. I even saw a news show where corporations were gambling on employees deaths with insurance policies taken out on them.

I agree about Q and his sister being a wonderful anomaly. Glad to hear it worked out between some siblings out there.

q1605 said...

I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to have my sister backing me up on my memories. There was so much over the top stuff my mother did she probably would have told me that I can't believe my own eyes and shut me up. Much like my ex-wife did. There are too many episodes that we discuss where we can all but finish each others sentences for it to be our imagination. Plus we tell each other how my mother spun things to one of us thinking we would never talk about it to each other. That's the coolest part. Being able to dissect her lies and see how bold she was when it came to spinning her web of deception. Unbeknownst to my mother me and my sister have been comparing notes about her since I really first learned to speak. My sister would come home from school and I would fill her in on the BS that went on while she was at school. And my sister would tell me how other mommies and daddies were not like ours.
Here is an old post about it.
http://rumblestripq.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html

mulderfan said...

I'm thankful to have an extended family member as my witness.

q1605 said...

My sister and I had to stick together. You know the history of my mother and people still thought she was fine and dandy. It was easier to put us in harms way than to stand up to my mother. I wonder if it would have caused a row if they implied that she shouldn't have custody of children. She couldn't have cared less about what happened to us, but if she didn't have her kids to use as pawns someone might have noticed she was crazy. In other words she liked to appear to be a good mother. But she didn't want to be bothered with the day to day dues paying of raising a kid. Things like feeding them and not screwing guys in front of them. Putting their needs before hers. It just didn't compute for her.

mulderfan said...

Another cool thing is still being friends with people who witnessed the crazies, 1st hand, as far back as 35-45 years ago. The person calling me a liar needs to see a doc about his memory loss!

q1605 said...

My sister told me about a friend of hers that instinctively knew my mother was evil. But by and large she had everyone fooled. She suckered a jury of her peers. Even then I was integral in her freedom. Her lawyers parade me through the courtroom like a dancing monkey. Anything to connect their perception of her as an innocent mother of small child. They didn't put me on the stand. But they had me sitting out front and center until the judge made me stay out in the hallway.

mulderfan said...

How low can a mother go? The bitch used you like a stage prop! Were you holding a cute little puppy too?

q1605 said...

This was her lawyers idea as much as it was my mothers. I had been coached for months how to answer certain questions. I used to sell some crap art door to door and we did the same thing. If someone asked if they got a break for buying two pictures you were supposed to ask which two do you want instead of just going right for a price. Just keep herding them into a corner for them to break out their wallets. Stuff like that. I don't remember much of how I was coached in case I got called to the stand I was only 8. The prosecution bungled their case so thoroughly that the defense rested without presenting their case. This was also probably a factor in her delusion of being innocent. She wasn't innocent. The prosecutor was such a boob that they ripped his case apart. Things like the detectives from Dallas that interviewed female witnesses in Denver had sex with the lady. Things that totally discredited their testimony. I wish they had called me to the stand. I heard them on the phone luring the guy to the house. I heard them talking about the best way to clean up the mess. Like don't wash bloody sheets in hot water because it sets the stain. Sociopath sesame street.

q1605 said...

Here is a story on her lawyer. People have told me he didn't do me any favors when he got her acquitted. Well he didn't work for me he worked for my mother and father. In the legal sense of the word he more than earned his money. But no he didn't do me or my sister any favors. If you ever get a couple of minutes to kill it's a pretty good article.
http://www.dallasobserver.com/news/good-time-charlie-6396762

mulderfan said...

Holy crap! That was like reading the script for a "B" movie!

q1605 said...

Welcome to Dallas.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Q Im glad you have your sister. I just Mr. and Mrs. Denial as siblings and they still kneel before the queen. Both threw me under the bus. I am LC with my brother and felt bad he may almost die, but even there I knew I sold down the river. He knows which side of his bread is buttered. It's very doubtful we will see each other in person ever again.

I am glad you had your sister for support very early on. It sounds like she was too busy whoring around to groom a golden child and that was an advantage to both of you so you could bond and compare notes.

I have no one as my witness. It is a very very very very lonely feeling. None of them cared about me. If you read my depressive post of today, this rejection is hitting home. My husband is a latter day witness to the insanities of the last 20 years but no member of the family ever stood by me.
http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2015/08/todays-angst.html


I am sure she used you as pawns definitely Q, she could look more "respectable" being a mother and get away with far more, especially during that day and age.

The prosecutor or cops never interviewed you? !!! Well, I wonder if there was some kind of law that prevented it since obviously she never would have approved.

I'm curious how'd your mother have the money or connections for such a big name lawyer?

Anonymous said...

Less than 20 years before the holocaust Russian jews killed 22 MILLION Russian Christians by starving them to death. They forced them to live within boundaries and let them have no food. This went on for years. This murdered millions of little children. The holocaust was the jews karma. And still to this day not a damn one of them cares, not a damn one of them says they are sorry all they do is whine about the just desserts (excuse the pun) given to them.

q1605 said...

Peep, the money they hocked their kids future for covered the cost of my mothers trial. Anonymous I am sorry it took so long to post your comment. I don't know how true it is but I will give you a forum to express yourself.

q1605 said...

Anonymous......I found your words here more true than not. So if anybody wants to google around on their own. There is a lot of evidence that says he isn't lying. Or resorting to hyperbole.

q1605 said...

http://www.jewwatch.com/jew-occupiedgovernments-USSR-Jewish-Bolshevism-Jewish%20Role.html

http://www.jewwatch.com/jew-occupiedgovernments-USSR.html

q1605 said...

Although officially Jews have never made up more than five percent of the country's total population,5 they played a highly disproportionate and probably decisive role in the infant Bolshevik regime, effectively dominating the Soviet government during its early years. Soviet historians, along with most of their colleagues in the West, for decades preferred to ignore this subject. The facts, though, cannot be denied.

With the notable exception of Lenin (Vladimir Ulyanov), most of the leading Communists who took control of Russia in 1917-20 were Jews. Leon Trotsky (Lev Bronstein) headed the Red Army and, for a time, was chief of Soviet foreign affairs. Yakov Sverdlov (Solomon) was both the Bolshevik party's executive secretary and -- as chairman of the Central Executive Committee -- head of the Soviet government. Grigori Zinoviev (Radomyslsky) headed the Communist International (Comintern), the central agency for spreading revolution in foreign countries. Other prominent Jews included press commissar Karl Radek (Sobelsohn), foreign affairs commissar Maxim Litvinov (Wallach), Lev Kamenev (Rosenfeld) and Moisei Uritsky.6

Lenin himself was of mostly Russian and Kalmuck ancestry, but he was also one-quarter Jewish. His maternal grandfather, Israel (Alexander) Blank, was a Ukrainian Jew who was later baptized into the Russian Orthodox Church.7

A thorough-going internationalist, Lenin viewed ethnic or cultural loyalties with contempt. He had little regard for his own countrymen. "An intelligent Russian," he once remarked, "is almost always a Jew or someone with Jewish blood in his veins."8