Saturday, February 13, 2016

Is there Life on Mars


I keep hearing stories and in trying to make sense of others people's narc escapades I am drawn back to trying to make sense of mine. As useless as I know this endeavor is, I still try to fit square pegs in round holes. There is Joan's mother trashing her own house before she died. There is Peeps never ending persecution at the hands of people that are supposed to love her and care for her, and there is my infamous mother. About as close as I can get is to marvel about what loud and pushy bullies they all are and I am starting to give credence to the psychologist  that say deep inside there is a fragile and delicate child who suffered some trauma  and is being held captive and waiting to be freed. I base this thinking on the actions of a mother whose body count is almost in the double digits and who all but bragged about her crimes that if the claims originate from me would break her down into a ball of seething hate and denial. Me calling her crazy is about like saying the Hindenburg was running a little hot that day in New Jersey. We have spent billions to find out if there is life on mars and yet no one can tell us if there is life between the ears of a narcissist. 


It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling, "No!"
And her daddy has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen

But the film is a saddening bore
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man!
Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

It's on America's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
'Cause Lennon's on sale again
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog, and clowns

But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man!
Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

14 comments:

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

I still keep trying to make sense of it all too so there with you. I don't know why my sister keeping her cancer secret is bugging me so much, maybe because I asked her direct to her face and was lied to? Same with that "friend" of 30 years duration, she was Mrs. Secretive to me and lied to me as well. I can handle lies of omission better then when someone lies to my face. Of course all I got was more lies from my mother...."You choose to believe things about me that are untrue". There's no life between their ears. They don't care about anything not even themselves. I believe when the child in them got broken down so did the conscience for good but there was a point when they made the decision to turn feral in mind.

q1605 said...

I wish it were as easy as jumping saying they are all assholes but they are all that and so much more. When you think they are going to zig they zag. I think I am still trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. That maybe Joan's mom got to the end and regretted alienating everybody but if you think that you'll end up regretting it because while they appear to be driven by human emotion they really are just trying to lure in to take another shot. I am really curious to see if Joan posts what she thinks all that was about cuz it's got me stumped.

mulderfan said...

The narc in my life has been bent on self-destruction for years. One of my therapists advised me to, "Stop trying to make sense out of insanity." Another said, "Your a decent person surrounded by people who are insane."

It's taken me way to long to accept that I'm the normal kid in the Addams Family!

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

I think my expectations of them are VERY LOW. I don't even subscribe human emotions to some of mine. I had someone tell me "They are still human!" but I sure wasn't feeling it. I think I'd faint if I ever saw one really crying but then I know I had the extreme cold fish in my life. I see relatives trashing the house, to get more, guess I am more cynical.

q1605 said...

Thats the best way Peep. I saw a biography of Richard Pryer and after he caught himself on fire his wife was saying the LAST thing he needed at this time was to go out and work and was dogging Pryers lawyer for getting him in a club doing stand up. So they show the guy saying this is Richard Pryer He did what he wanted and no one could talk him out of a thing if he set his mind to it.
Can you tell I watch a lot of television? It's still more entertaining than watching paint dry but not by much.

Elli G said...

I am with mulderfan on this one. I think all of their reactions are calculated in a way that doesn’t make sense to us, so to try to relate to their actions by comparing them with a normal person’s is not possible. The first question a psychiatrist I was consulting with asked me about my brother was about his reaction when I delivered my daughter. It’s funny that I didn’t pay attention to this, but he actually didn’t know how to react when I told him that I was in terrible pain. He said,"uh ok I guess lots of people are calling you" and just hung up on me. Many times before they react a certain way they think about what a normal person would do, so if there aren’t enough references for them they freestyle and it’s always weird and unexplainable to us.

q1605 said...

They look random but that smirk gives them away.

q1605 said...

Elli I can think of a million oddities with my mother. She always made the most tacky comments around dead people. My mother in law died and she started blabbing about how she could hook up with her husband. She wasn't cold yet and that's straight where my mother took it. My wife didn't appreciate it.

Elli G said...

I believe that wasn't because she didn't know how to react. Quite the opposite. It's what I wrote to you a couple of days ago, she wanted to break you up because she was seeing something superior in your wife and the queen bee couldn't take it. What a rotten bitch...

q1605 said...

It gets so crazy it's hard to tell. I think I still have a post up about taking my mother to her friends funeral and the woman's daughter came up and said she was glad to see her and my mother did this little curtsy bow and said this old thing was something I threw on at the last minute. This girl was obviously distraught and had been crying and all my mother heard was a compliment for the dress she was wearing. It was so out of place a think I blushed. Blushed and looked for a hole to crawl in. I am not working up a post but I have decided that one of the biggest tells that shows you if a person has a personality disorder is if they dump on you and then get pissed off at YOU for them cheating you. Like they have contempt for anybody that would sit still long enough to take their abuse. My ex hates my guts and told me as much by the time the divorce was final. I didn't do anything to her but find out she bought a boat and parked it at her boyfriends. If she hated me for the boat and prosecuting her buddy for forging checks, can you imagine how much she hates me for her stealing our farm? She would consider that grounds for justifiable homicide.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Yeah being that cynical about narcs I wont be steered wrong...LOL

I think Richard Pryer wanted to keep working, yeah I read that biography too, that guy did what he wanted.

Yes they freestyle stuff, when there is no script. Mine didn't bother freestyling, I was too low of a "worm" to them to even merit the fake garbage. I just got ice cubes. That's sick about her wanting to hit on a dead woman's husband. Mine was weird about death too. When people died it was if they disappeared, they just ceased to exist to her.

Q they are always on looking for narc supply. My grandmother is dying and living at home with her, and my mother wants everyone to feel sorry for her and all her "suffering". I mean why else complain about the housework even when Aunt scapegoat was convalescing? It's all about her. So yes she will go on about her dress even to a little girl who lost a loved one.

Oh that is a red flag, they treat you like garbage and then get pissed off when you stand up for yourself. They never apologize either. They either go woe is me or smear you as the worse person who ever lived.

Elli G said...

According to my dad, my mother was so mad when he confronted her about her cheatings that she started throwing things at his head trying to crack it open. He said she was mad he had found out everything and even though he forgave her she didn't stop using his head as a shooting target.

I imagine the confronation went down somewhat like that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhrUjb10qwA

q1605 said...

Yeah I stumbled across my ex in bed with our neighbor and I thought she was going to punch ME. I think that was a foundation for gas lighting. Or gas lighting lite. That if they get angry enough you will turn it in on yourself instead of holding them accountable. I saw a bit in a National Lampoon when we were still in Veit Nam. It was to illustrate what a liar Nixon was. They had drawn a bunch of B 52's carpet bombing a jungle and the caption read "these are not bombs" and "those are not innocent children" and "we haven't stayed into Cambodia" basically saying if you see something with your own two eyes all we have to tell you you didn't see it and you can continue like nothing happened because until we fess up to it, it didn't really happen. Even if you saw it. We didn't validate it with a voluntary confession so not only did you not see what you saw we also will call you crazy which helps to shore up our lies and makes you question your self.

q1605 said...

Elli G I made to that you tube clip and that is funny. You dad is like mine.