Sunday, February 14, 2016

How are you?


This clip reminds me of my marriage to wife number 1 as it was winding down.  If you listened to my STBX. I was the cause of all the evil in the world . That global warming was my fault, the economy was my fault. That every negative thing and every ill that was ever bestowed on man kind could be traced back to my existence.
Little did I know that my mother pecking away at me and her death by a million cuts was a calculated and clever symbiosis between the two most evil people I have ever seen joining forces to bring down the evil they perceived as me. I sustained face through most of all of this but by the end I was so disassociated with normal life, that I really forgot where I ended and their bull shit began. American Beauty was released that fall as I was divorcing the wicked witch of the north. It really isn't hyperbole to say this movie saved my life.     Here was this guy being blistered by a cheating wife and  in the midst of a full on mid life crisis. I really related to this scene because in all the blaming of me for everything from the high cost of living to the hole over the ozone layer. It became apparent no one was giving me a second thought and no one really gave two shits about me.  I knew exactly the problems I was causing the world and with them heaping blame on me I for got that I had a life and it had just as much value as the pack of wolves gnawing at my bones. I just lost sight of it for awhile. 

10 comments:

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

I watched the symbiosis of a crazed narc mother and an ex wife join together when it came to my brother and his ex wife, and even today the family and him will complain about her and cuss about her, and you can see the most low down dirty things said. I didn't post about this but he wrote this post cussing her out calling her a "a low down basic B**tch" on his Facebook wall with endless comments about how stupid she was. He has been divorced over 10 years. What was her sin? She bought the wrong connectors for some new expensive gaming modems he had bought the kids for their birthday. Followed was some complex computer mumbo jumbo I didn't even understand. 11 people liked the post which gave me the creeps.

I mean he totally ripped her to shreds, but with my mother making her a target the poor woman had no chance. Even as recently as last year, my mother told her off for my brother at court. The whole thing is sick. I don't have contact with her but wish I could talk to her again to tell her my whole family is psycho and here is what happened to you. I don't trust my brother but have kept VLC, and even on the fence with that. His ex-wife was made into a she-beast, the bringer of every evil in the world. My mother would spend whole hours during the years of their marriage shredding her. Scapegoated to the max. So I can just imagine how it was for you.

They shredded this woman to pieces. She is not perfect but they ripped her beyond belief. We were friends even years ago when they were first together but my mother made sure to destroy that. My brother's weakness in front of my mother is what I believe destroyed his marriage. My mother never tried to even get inbetween me and my husband, she never dared. I even told him when I went NC if you get some letter or message I did such and such, its a LIE but I think even she wasn't that stupid.

They will rip someone to shreds completely and make it so there is nothing good about them. I am glad you stood up for yourself and got away from both of them. When narcs tag team one is screwed. I had two tag teaming narcs in the parents.

q1605 said...

I am aware that me complaining about my ex a decade after we divorced is holding a grudge for a long time. But if she had minded her own business instead of mine I wouldn't have had a thread of contact with her. She's the one holding a grudge. I called her at my ex father in laws behest after he said he thought it would be OK. This was about 2008 and she saw my business name on her caller ID and left this long foaming rant and it was mainly about me having her friend prosecuted for forging checks off my business account. So the message I got from all that is that I should sit still and let them take me to the bank and not put up a fight. Them stealing from me is OK but me defending myself can't be forgiven. Don't forget that it was her sucking up to my mother and being her alternate narc supply that ruined me trying to force my mom to behave by going no contact. If I went and meddled about with her family she would have me shot. Now I know expecting my mother to act normal in the slightest way was a lost cause. But at that time I was just hearing about people with personality disorders.

mulderfan said...

"Lost cause" perfect description of narcs AND their flying monkeys. Don't spend a moment trying to recycle/reuse, just kick 'em to the curb with the rest of the rotting, stinking garbage.

q1605 said...

I get you M-fan. But it drives me crazy when a crazy person calls me crazy. I think my ex implied I was stealing her stuff. Lets see......She now lives in the house we bought together. She got out cabin in east Texas. She owns my mothers house and rents it out to one of her friends. She emptied our bank accounts and charged up our credit cards and fobbed them off on me in the divorce but she pissed at me for taking her shit.

Nenad said...

"Them stealing from me is OK but me defending myself can't be forgiven"... typical of bullies, including little ones. Your saying this, Q, reminded me of me being severely bullied in junior high. For one thing, my NFOO left me at the mercy of school bullies - when I told them about it, they blamed me for "not knowing how to defend myself", said I deserved it, etc. Yeah, guess who'd groomed me to be "unable to defend myself" in the first place. One time, the bullies were beating me down in front of a classroom window - I think I ran there from them, but they came after me - and the window got broken. The teacher made us all pay for it in equal shares, and when I protested it wasn't my fault, what did the bullies say? "If you hadn't run there, we wouldn't have broken it." How perverse. The way they think is unfathomable to a normal person.

q1605 said...

Nenad they call it projection but it go's much further than mere projection. It's pathology to the Nth degree. My ex would go with me to week end jam sessions and one time we were short a drummer so i sat in on the drums. The guys said later," we didn't know you played drums!" And I said neither did I. I didn't really play as much as keep time on the bass and snare. So my wife sat over there sulking and muttering about how I manage to play anything I get my hands on. Wait that doesn't really follow the thread. OK she would get drunk and hang of all the guys at a party. But I would watch her watch me like a hawk and if she thought I was talking to some girl more than she thought was allowable I would catch hell on the way home.
OK how about they can dish it out but they can't take it. I guess there is no honor among thieves.

q1605 said...

After our divorce was final but before I found out all the despicable financial ways she got over on me. She wanted to look at the books of my shop. All it showed was how little money I was really making. So she said something like you really aren't making much up here are you. I thought you were stashing money all over. Which was exactly what she was doing.

Nenad said...

I guess they expect everybody to be like them. So, how astonishing you weren't stashing money all over.

My mother seemed to think anybody and everybody was out to screw her over. It got worse with age, and she even began projecting it onto me. Like when someone stole my car's badge, she said it surely is someone who has something against me personally. (My guess is it was a kids' prank and they didn't know me.) Some weeks later I got my license plates stolen in a completely different part of town, and the moment she found out, in less than a second she blurted out, "It's the same person who stole your badge! Now they got your license plates!" Just crazy.

Shortly before I went NC, a kitten I had rescued went missing and she was adamant our first-door neighbors killed it. In hindsight, I suspect she did it, and was trying to avoid suspicion, alienate us all from the neighbors in question, and generally create chaos. If so, maybe I am incredibly lucky to have escaped. Don't serial killers often start by killing and torturing small animals?

q1605 said...

That's where they start. My grand mother told us story's about my mother putting chewing gum in the whiskers of kittens. The way she told it she portrayed my mother to be some lovable neer do well, but in hindsight it's obvious it was an indicator of things to come. My mother accused her neighbors of deliberately running over her cat. So I was about to go across the street and give him a beating. She had really crocodile teared it all up. But she was adamant about me not going over there. Now I am sure she was masking it all up.

q1605 said...

I think that not trusting people is so they can do it to us before we do it to them. At least they can say that later after and if they get exposed for all the crazy stuff they do. That they were so sure they were being cheated that they were cheated first. I guess in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king. I don't know why I am saying that but it sort of fits. My mother would sit on her couch and give the whole world an all around general cussing about how every single person has cheated them and then she would look over at me and say Oh except you!