Wednesday, March 16, 2016

One thing led to another and before we knew it we were dead.



  That title is a quote from a piece written by National Lampoon's co-founder Micheal O'Donahue explaining how the Lampoon went from being THE 70's media source for edgy humor to being over whelmed by Hollywood's movie making machine and Saturday Night Live's juggernaut siphoning their talent away forever. It's phrase's like this that bring back the old memories and frustrations, and sets me back on a mental quest to try and figure out what the fuck happened to our family. My sister got out while the getting was good and has established a nice life, with a nice family, and has done quite well. But anybody that didn't get out ...no!......wait that's it!....there is no anybody. Every one else is gone. No parents No grandparents. No brothers. No sisters, but for the one you hear about and her most excellent grandson. No uncles, No aunts, except for one woman that is my fathers sister. And no cousins. Not a living soul from my mothers side of our family. A once large and prosperous family, with a decent reputation as a hard working and honest people, is gone.  And with it, anything of value. Where once we at least had some land with a broken down barn, that too is gone and replaced by rows of cheaply made tract homes. No pictures, No heirlooms, even the goddamn graves that were unused in the family plot don't belong to us anymore.

Can all this be explained by the appearance of a single narcissistic sociopath?

I am glad you asked because I think it CAN be blamed on a single narcissistic sociopath. MY MOTHER! Here are the stories tossed around while we were young. She liked to put chewing gum in the whiskers of cats. She accused her cousin of raping her and that part of the family all picked up and moved to California and was never heard from again. According to my mother some kid from down the road tried to push her out of the hayloft and have her plunge to her death. He should have been given a bronze star. But I have found over the years that her accusations about others were the product of that Gordian knot of a brain she possessed and is usually what she tried to do to someone else. There are many stories besides those but I digress.
Sorry about the watermark

When I die my blood line dies with me and "good riddance" is what I say. All I know is to look back on the net effect of my mother's influence on our family is this. She shows up and everything disappears. Like the K/T boundary, her birth is the line of demarcation between a past of rich and varied life divided by a line of iridium rich space soil, or in her case a make up caked, grease spot, on the floor where she dressed, and above that there is nothing left.

The facts she can lie to others about, but not me, because I was there and I saw what she did was;

Orchestrated a murder....... BADLY!
Badger my father to suicide.
Ruin every marriage she got close enough to tell lies to the principles and/or fuck their husbands.
Is that enough ruination for you?
Her and my ex wife were slot machines that never paid off.
Maybe in the age of internet fortunes and gangsta rap honor doesn't mean anything. For me putting a price tag on an object is a starting point. Goodwill and family honor are not free.
I can go on but you get my drift. And if you are that interested you can mail me your questions with a one hundred dollar bill and a SASE, but only if you have swallowed poison and you need a good gag and retch to purge the contents of your stomach.
If people want to include me in their list of labelors and haters of the personality disordered, try walking a mile in my shoes.
If you brag about being crazy that just makes you fucked up. That doesn't make you my hero. For that honor to be bestowed on you, you will have to build a time machine and take some effective contraceptive devices back to my grandmother before she shit out my mother.

19 comments:

q1605 said...

I can look at my mothers car anytime I want to. It's proudly parked in the drive way of my ex-wife who lives about a mile away.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

There's no one left for me either. yes one narc can wipe out a whole family. In my case they kept breeding so their family line continues, but then my own line dies out, with me, one could lay that at my mother's feet too. One narc sociopath can take it all away. None of the others stood up against her. Same for mine. I have no family left and lay that at the feet of my mother. I did write today that I am not writing on them anymore and I am leaving them all behind. I give up. No one was left for me. I am sorry your mother did so much damage but that is what these sociopathic narcs do. The Californian relatives sound like they were smart to get out. I agree about the defenders of the narcs and sociopaths. They love chaos and craziness, they love everything being messed up and destroyed. My mother I know got lots of pleasure off my ruined life. I'm too damn old to sit around and be ruined anymore and that's why I am done with them all. Yeah if only there were time machines....

q1605 said...

People think we exaggerate about them being like the bully at the beach who tears down sand castles and kicks sand in your face. The stakes are higher but other than that there is no difference.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Yeah they think we are nuts making up stuff about them, no that is exactly what they are. Mine has destroyed a multitude of other lives. It's interesting to me that FIVE members of her family [4 in the immediate and husband] all died before age 60 and 3 before age 36. Yes the stakes are higher.

q1605 said...

Good Lord! Statistically speaking your mom is worse than mine. Mine just has a higher watermark than yours. Either way it's a lot of human years wasted placating a person who won't be placated. My father was the person who got the most time cheated from him and he was 43. I am 58 and hope to see 60. Although I am pretty sure my wife would like to put a pillow over my head and be done with it. That's another disability thing people don't account for. I/we know we are a burden and we hate it. People just think we laugh all the way to the bank. But that leaves 23 and a half hours left to fill and mine are direct deposited so I don't even drive to the bank.

Joan S said...

I have the shivers, that is triggering emotions in me that I haven't even explored yet. The utter hatred that wipes out generations. This is an excellent writing, just ohhh. Ok, I have no family either. Even in my early twenties I was all alone, while others of my age group were surrounded by family, and grandparents for their children. I couldn't even explain how that while my family was still alive, I was all alone. People would look at me like I was the freak.

q1605 said...

I am glad I can still evoke emotions in readers. I just wish they weren't negative ones.

q1605 said...

Joan I read Mia Farrows auto biography way back and she had a hard life. Not what you would expect from a celebrity. Just the name prompted me to buy it and read it. The name is what falls away. She starts out with what you expect from someone famous and the good times just get whittled down to nothing. I think her brother committed suicide and her marriage to Sinatra was no bed of roses.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/448797.What_Falls_Away
Here is the review from Amazon
In an exquisitely written memoir, Mia Farrow introduces us to the landscapes of her extraordinary life. Moving from her earliest memories of the walled gardens and rocky shores of Western Ireland and her Hollywood childhood to her career as an actress, she writes of these experiences and her struggle to protect her children in a painful custody battle with Woody Allen. It was the crisis that led her to reflect upon the incidents that had brought her to a place so incomprehensible. She was born the third of seven children to the beautiful actress Maureen O'Sullivan and successful writer/director John Farrow, but the isolation of a polio ward brought her childhood to an abrupt end at the age of nine. Several years later, two deaths shattered the security of the family forever, and Mia Farrow embarked upon a journey that would lead her away from the convent education that was to sustain her spiritual courage, to starring roles in Peyton Place and Rosemary's Baby, a marriage to Frank Sinatra, divorce, a defining trip to India, work on the London stage and in film, and marriage to Andre Previn. Their life together in England brought them three sons and three daughters before that marriage, too, dissolved and she returned to the United States. The year 1979 saw the beginning of a new career with brilliant performances in thirteen of Woody Allen's most distinguished films.


q1605 said...


No her brother died in a plane crash.

Joan S said...

Wow, imagine that. I always felt I was the only one, and now I read more of how others lives have been ruined. Even rich and famous, I suppose the bad is very powerful too, in those instances. At least people left me alone, and I didn't struggle for custody, he never cared enough to fight me. I guess the fighting would have been very horrible. Mostly, all I had was the silence.

Judith said...

I just had a conversation with a fellow movie fan about our outrage that people like Woody Allen & Roman Polanski are still revered and people still watch their movies. Mia Farrow seems like a good person who fell in with a terrible man.

I like your analogy of your mother and ex being slot machines that never paid off. I always likened my relationship with my parents to be like me laying down on the train tracks knowing the train was barreling full force at me. And I kept stupidly thinking, "THIS time the train is going to stop before it runs me over."

My mom sees herself as a benevolent savior. Based on nothing except her own delusions. The not-at-all veiled character stand in for herself (in the first iterations, she literally named the great, all-knowing sorceress after a nickname for herself) in the children's book she eventually self published shed a lot of light on her inner thinking for me. I never read her final version, although I'm tempted to buy it online to see. It wouldn't be healthy for me though, and I'm sure it's not a great read.

mulderfan said...

Mercifully, my father's clones turned out this way: the NGC is childless and so are my older brother's offspring one of whom is a narc in her own right and the other is an unwitting troll.

Those of us that think we "got out" are wrong. The fleas will always be part of us.

Peep, you're right to stop wasting your valuable time trying to figure them out. Let it go as best you can and move on.

q1605 said...

If I understand the situation correctly about Roman Polanski. The DA offered him a deal and he took it and lived up to his end of the bargain. If they didn't like the deal you don't get to renegotiate it later. I have had a bit of the criminal justice system experience aside from my mothers bullshit and they held me to the letter of the offer I took. That where the rub comes in. You are trying to have rules and regulations and foist them on to the human experience. There is a lot lost in the translation. My mother and her BF murdered that guy and our lawyer held the state's burden of proof to beyond a reasonable doubt. Her walking on it and putting her children back in peril was not the issue at hand. In Texas back then the laws clearly stated one murder, one conviction. What she did to her family later was of no consequence to the matter at hand. Even with the laws clearly stating the one murder one conviction people back then still went to prison for driving get away cars etc. But they had shitty lawyers who didn't defend them like they should of or could of. If the state thought they could convict Woody Allen they would have proceeded. High profile cases are what DA's live to prosecute. By the same token he didn't want the stigma of being the guy who brought him to trial and then lost. That's why statutes of limitations exist. Like the guaranty of a speedy trial. You either shit or get off the pot.Don't have this guy looking over his shoulder in perpetuity. I think the word they toss around to potential criminal litigation is dispassionate. Can you sit on this jury and hear the facts as if you were hearing them for the first time and decide this guys fate dispassionately? Just because the child that was victimized looks like your cousins daughter is no reason to throw the book at him. And so on and so forth and yada yada yada. I am putting myself to sleep so I can't imagine what the reader feels like right now.

q1605 said...

Joan I was watching a movie last night that really sucked me in. It was a movie called Babel. With Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchette. It was basically nothing like my life except it shows how the slightest change over here can have a dramatic impact somewhere else. This Japanese game hunter gave his guide a rifle to thank him for showing him such a good time. And the guide gives his kid the gun that takes pot shots at a tourist bus and hits cate Blanchette. But it's in the middle of no where and they can't get her out. Then the daughter of the hunter's wife had committed suicide and his daughter found her body and there is this whole sub plot about her suddenly acting out and trying to have sex with all these guys that were way beyond her experience. And cate and brads kids go hang out with their Mexican nanny south of Tijuana and this guy they are with gets stopped for driving drunk at the border and bolts in his car and ends up leaving everyone to die in the desert. ( I am not making this up) that's really how the movie went. But in the end Kate lives, brad comes home, the authorities find the kids and the daughter resolves her mother issues and everyone lives happily ever after. I used to talk about my childhood as hours and hours of sheer boredom punctuated by bouts of terror and insanity. The problem is that in real life no one goes home and finishes living a happy life. It just goes from bad to worse before everybody dies a horrible lingering death.

q1605 said...

Judith?
I always likened my relationship with my parents to be like me laying down on the train tracks knowing the train was barreling full force at me. And I kept stupidly thinking, "THIS time the train is going to stop before it runs me over."

Were you hiding in my closet. You should have come out and said Hello!

q1605 said...

M-fan As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly.

q1605 said...

And Judith that long winded answer only applies to court room procedure. You are perfectly within your rights to burn them both in effigy.

Joan S said...

Omgosh Q I just got the understanding of that biblical saying.

q1605 said...

Just call me the proselytizer.