Thursday, June 2, 2016

Beth is a little anal retentive.

My sister  googled two words: crazy and maker and found this writing from John Bradshaw at the top of the page. It's nothing you haven't heard before, but he really rolls them into one clump.
Narcissist: The granddaddy of all crazy-makers. Narcissists cannot empathize with anyone, meaning they cannot relate to your feelings. They only feel their own wants and needs. They are emotionally stunted, like a perpetually demanding two-year-old. It is always about them. However, they can be extremely charming and charismatic, as they have learned how to be the greatest salespeople to get their needs met. They can charm and mimic compassion for brief moments in order to get their needs satisfied. They expect only the best and can be the most materialistic—demanding trophy-relationships, endless objects of success, only well-known acquaintances, top-notch services, lavish vacations, etc. They have disdain for emotions in others and often think even less of people close to them. They try to control everyone around them and will use every available tactic to gain control. Many high-ranking executives are narcissists and consequently tend to create a narcissistic culture in their company or division.

And my sister also sent me a link to this.

14 comments:

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Good summation of narcissists. I saw Ordinary People for the first time last year and rewatched it this year. She is a definite malignant narcissist with the challenge that the GC died in a boating accident. The son shown is definitely the SG, and she has no connection with him and is cold to him. She's nice to the husband so that is one thing with that movie how others can see a completely different person. The movie is unrealistic in the protrayal of the enabler husband, in the beginning he is the norm, defending his wife to his son, even after the son attempts suicide, but near the end he sees through her scapegoating his son and stands up for him. That is so rare, I am not even sure if I have heard of it. Maybe some decent people do free their minds from the malignant narcissist's control and stand up for SGs but when has it ever happened? At the end it seems they are divorcing. I find myself thinking "Oh he will take her back and the son will be even more sorry later" if it was a real story. :/

q1605 said...

I hate that about Hollywood. They get close to real life and veer away at the point it would affect box office receipts. In Risky Business with Tom Cruise they had an alternate ending where instead of getting into that Ivy league college he bilges out and go's down hill and it tested so poorly that they put the happy one in, where he gets accepted in school and gets the girl and on and on. So Holly wood is giving us what we want. Even if we say we don't want it. There is a Ordinary People clip where MTM go's into this rant about how mothers don't hate their sons and blah blah blabbity blah blah. I got news for them my mother hated me and she hated me for reasons that were not very clear. I think I was supposed to build a time machine and go back and make them use a condom.

Judith said...

I hate how Hollywood makes narcissist death bed reconciliations seem like the way to go. It's like they have no real idea of what a narcissist is. Or maybe the studio heads are narcissists and all those endings are their own wishes.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Yes it annoys me about Hollywood too. If it was a true ACON story she would turn the father against the son too, and he would be yelling at him constantly and he'd already see the inside of the military school they threaten him with. Yeah it's the happy endings because real life would be too depressing. Everyone wants to have the underdog win. Yeah I remember that rant, thinking man they do and daughters too! I had my parents tell me they hated my personality, well think about that one. I had no way to win then. If I built my time machine, I'd stop the adoption or whatever happened or would be making sure those two never met.

q1605 said...

They lost me on that movie "White Oleander". Where at the end Michelle Pfiefer owns up to her murder and goes back to jail.....yeah sha! When the cops first picked my mother up in Denver they arrested my father and my sister until they got it all sorted out. My sister thinks (and I think she is right) that if my mother could have pinned it on either of them she would have just so she could walk. You just had to be there. She asked to use the bathroom and while she was in there she called her accomplice from the extension (remember them?) at his motel to warn him that the jig was up. She probably would have sold me out but I was only 8 and they knew an 8 year old couldn't have masterminded a premeditated murder.

Joan S said...

My gosh, I watched the video yesterday and I think the thing gave me nightmares. I keep thinking that my mother wasn't as educated or sophisticated, but I turned to the narcs in my life because I thought they were different than the hillbilly that was my mother. But in the end it is all the same. Emotionally stunted. And now since watching the trust series from Peep's blog, I wonder if I can even relate to a normal person, without having to diaper them too. I think I tend to coddle the freaks for that is all I know. This don't bode well with the normal.

I understand that Hollywood does make it out like narcs are very normal people on the deathbed, and makes it out like they can suddenly grow a conscience one day, all they need is the lurve. And some shows make it out like its a brain tumor that they had, and an operation, now normal. I don't know if that is true, but if my mother or any of my Nfriends became normal, I wouldn't even know who they are.

Five Hundred Pound Peep said...

Oh yeah that ending drove me crazy! I thought "That NEVER would happen!" In real world sociopath world, the daughter would be pegged with the murder by the sociopath and would be sitting in jail. I think if your mother could have gotten your sister put in jail or your father she would have with no hesitation. Yes the mother owning up at the end made me puke, that never would happen at all. Hollywood like a certain furry creature wants us all to believe that malignant narcissists and sociopaths have hearts of gold inside.

q1605 said...

My mother went to her grave ruing the day my sister brought her accomplice home and they met each other. She basically is implying that if not for that fateful encounter she would have never gone to bed with him nor leave my father stranded in Colorado while they lured him to a motel in Texas and attempting to rob him and the whole thing blowing up in her face and ending with them shooting him the back and loading him in his car and parking his corpse on the side of a country road. Drat that sister of mine. Another fine mess she got us into.

q1605 said...

Joan I read a guys description of his mother as the only person he knew that could sit in a chair and strut at the same time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stacey_Castor
read that wiki page. That woman poisoned both husbands and then her daughter and forged a suicide note from her dying child where she posed as her now dead daughter
and took responsibility for the murders to get the heat off of the mother. That's real life there. She probably would have got away with it but Miss Einstein there misspelled the word antifreeze as antifree and that made them realize the daughter didn't write the suicide note but knew it was the mother.

q1605 said...

Let me clarify. She poisoned her daughter and forged the "suicide note" posing as her daughter who couldn't take the guilt and took her own life because of it. Problem is that the daughter didn't die.

q1605 said...

Much to her dismay!

mulderfan said...

Nailed it!

q1605 said...

Hated Her!

q1605 said...

I just watched this clip again and if I could have spoken at my mothers funeral I would say what the reviewer said about MTM here. An extraordinary performance.