I ask myself how my parents thought any of their aberrant behavior was OK, and I remembered how they assigned agency to a third party, and did what ever they wanted. My father wasn't pulling a gutless move and stranding his kids with a lifetime set of luggage. He never got past "look at what your mother is making me do". To phrase it any other way would be for him to have to take stock of his actions and realize he was a shitty person married to an even shittier bitch and that her whore-dom was his problem and his alone and he shouldn't drag his kids into the middle. He thought; I am taking my own life because I am married to a cheap slut. She thought I am not a cheap slut because this is retribution for a 50's era rumor of him having an affair. So my mothers affairs were payback for something he did in the fifties. His suicide was showing her who's boss. Once that pissing contest started nobody won, least of all us kids.
One time she was justifying some reprehensible selling out of someone that viewed her as a friend and it wasn't that she's a cheap slut it was that the person wasn't "there for me when I needed them" so of course she was left with no option but to screw her friends husband and ruin their marriage. I mean who wouldn't?
She had already reminded me that people were trying to break in her house and if they did, she had a gun. And we both knew that person she was referring to was me trying to walk out the front door.. Her wayward son could quickly be written off as a burglar and dispatched at will. So going no contact was a self preservation mechanism because no one stands up to her and lives to tell about it.