Friday, July 29, 2016

Nice Shot

 I was watching a documentary about DJ AM (Adam Goldstein)  and about how Goldstein who was clean and sober for close to a decade but relapsed and ultimately died from an overdose after dealing unsuccessfully with the PTSD and survivors guilt he suffered after he survived a plane crash that took the lives of four of his friends. The guy turns to the camera and asks the interviewer and the audience if they know of anyone who survived a plane crash? Because I don't! Adam is the only person I know! And one of his old councilors said something that made me think. He was bringing up people like Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain to give Goldstein's life and death the substance and gravity it deserves to be given and he says people lose sight of the fact that those stars were real people. People that really lived, and people that really died.  It's hard for people to make that leap. That we aren't speaking of some derelict stranger from across town. This was a real person we are referring to. That what for me was real and had consequences that were real, and I paid them and we are all living breathing creatures and not some actors in a movie. My life was not some game for anyone even though the sociopaths in my life made it into a cheap game for a cheap thrill. Those gunshots were real. That blood was real. The graves smelled of freshly opened earth and Adam really died. And for us it's not an abstract idea.... it really happened. I know most people logically understand that, but people have a tendency to view tragedy in others lives like some war in a foreign country.  And the body count doesn't represent real people. Or people that matter.  As long as the depraved sociopaths make it a game, a game is what it will remain.  We are all complicit if we let them get away with it. Which they will  as long as people turn a blind eye and don't call the sociopath out for their behavior when you see them doing something reprehensible. 

Sunday, July 17, 2016


I was thinking about my father and my grandmother who basically shifted my mothers accountability for her actions on to me and my sister because it was just easier, and I am sitting here going around in circles in my head for the jillionth time and I just stopped and said to myself how about having a set of normal parents and a normal fucking family? There was a lady down the street from the house we lived in when I was born that would take my sister in when they saw her wandering around and would give her milk and cookies, and if it was hot let her cool off and if it was cold let her sit by the heat. That is why I find god so hard to believe in. Why didn't he just put us there? If he is omnipotent he could just as easily put us there or somewhere else. But no! He stuck us with that defective piece of shit. If you believe in oriental religions we are somehow being tested and prepped for some other cosmic journey. And fuck that! is what I say. In the movie "Prince of Tides"  Nick Nolte is doing a voice over about how most people spend their whole life with nothing of consequence happening to them and how he always envied those people. 
I so get that. There are the people that will tell people like us to put a smile on your face and shine on your shoes and the world can be your oyster. All that bullshit of how anything can be overcome with a positive attitude and some stick to it-ness. So take your negativity somewhere else while I take my perfect baton from my perfect parents and pursue a sweat-free, perfect life. Living around my mother let me see a lot of peoples clocks get stopped way too soon. Stopped in people that would have given all they had for one second more of life. You shouldn't take things from people you can't replace. 
Set your dreams where nobody hides
Give your tears to the tide
No time
No time

There's no end, there is no goodbye
Disappear with night
No time
No time
No time
No time
No time

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Fuck You

I found this comment on an Ollie video and I love it. If the person who wrote this is a reader leave me a comment and I will pull it but for now it's too good to not share it. 

I raise a big f*** you to anyone or anybody who created a child and left them to fend for themselves. YOU! YES YOU! Those of you who knew and were aware at the time you left. How is that not selfish? I am still flabbergasted at those who knowingly leave children living with people who do not have their best interests at heart. Children who have less ability to stand up than you did. Children trapped in a toxic environment with their only hope walking out the door. Leaving them in an untenable situation against a force you couldn't tolerate yourself. They don't have a choice they are dependent. Children who have no protection will have to develop whatever coping skills they can just to survive it. I don't care if you were duped or tricked in the beginning once you make children you stay! You don't have the right to leave!Your rights ended the moment that child took its first breath! If they have to deal with it you should be right there dealing with it too. YOU were their only protection YOU were their only sanity YOU were the only one capable of telling them the truth and YOU abandon them when you get out to save your own ass. SELFISH?????

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Not all families have problems.

The text was copied shamelessly from this issue of  Scientific American. 
And was inspired by Ollie's latest video...................................................

 From “VIOLENT psychopath” (21,700). “Psychopathic serial killer” (14,700). “Psychopathic murderer” (12,500). “Deranged psychopath” (1,050). We have all heard these phrases before, and the number of Google hits following them in parentheses attests to their currency in popular culture. Yet as we will soon discover, each phrase embodies a widespread misconception regarding psychopathic personality, often called psychopathy (pronounced “sigh-COP-athee”) or sociopathy. Indeed, few disorders are as misunderstood as is psychopathic personality. In this column, we will do our best to set the record straight and dispel popular myths about this condition.
Charming but Callous
First described systematically by Medical College of Georgia psychiatrist Hervey M. Cleckley in 1941, psychopathy consists of a specific set of personality traits and behaviors. Superficially charming, psychopaths tend to make a good first impression on others and often strike observers as remarkably normal. Yet they are self-centered, dishonest and undependable, and at times they engage in irresponsible behavior for no apparent reason other than the sheer fun of it. Largely devoid of guilt, empathy and love, they have casual and callous interpersonal and romantic relationships. Psychopaths routinely offer excuses for their reckless and often outrageous actions, placing blame on others instead. They rarely learn from their mistakes or benefit from negative feedback, and they have difficulty inhibiting their impulses.

Not surprisingly, psychopaths are overrepresented in prisons; studies indicate that about 25 percent of inmates meet diagnostic criteria for psychopathy. Nevertheless, research also suggests that a sizable number of psychopaths may be walking among us in everyday life. Some investigators have even speculated that “successful psychopaths”—those who attain prominent positions in society—may be overrepresented in certain occupations, such as politics, business and entertainment. Yet the scientific evidence for this intriguing conjecture is preliminary.
Most psychopaths are male, although the reasons for this sex difference are unknown. Psychopathy seems to be present in both Western and non-Western cultures, including those that have had minimal exposure to media portrayals of the condition. In a 1976 study anthropologist Jane M. Murphy, then at Harvard University, found that an isolated group of Yupik-speaking Inuits near the Bering Strait had a term (kunlangeta) they used to describe “a man who … repeatedly lies and cheats and steals things and … takes sexual advantage of many women—someone who does not pay attention to reprimands and who is always being brought to the elders for punishment.” When Murphy asked an Inuit what the group would typically do with a kunlangeta, he replied, “Somebody would have pushed him off the ice when nobody else was looking.”
The best-established measure of psychopathy, the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), developed by University of British Columbia psychologist Robert D. Hare, requires a standardized interview with subjects and an examination of their file records, such as their criminal and educational histories. Analyses of the PCL-R reveal that it comprises at least three overlapping, but separable, constellations of traits: interpersonal deficits (such as grandiosity, arrogance and deceitfulness), affective deficits (lack of guilt and empathy, for instance), and impulsive and criminal behaviors (including sexual promiscuity and stealing).
Three Myths 
Despite substantial research over the past several decades, popular misperceptions surrounding psychopathy persist. Here we will consider three of them.
1. All psychopaths are violent. Research by psychologists such as Randall T. Salekin, now at the University of Alabama, indicates that psychopathy is a risk factor for future physical and sexual violence. Moreover, at least some serial killers—for example, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and Dennis Rader, the infamous “BTK” (Bind, Torture, Kill) murderer—have manifested numerous psychopathic traits, including superficial charm and a profound absence of guilt and empathy.
Nevertheless, most psychopaths are not violent, and most violent people are not psychopaths. In the days following the horrific Virginia Tech shootings of April 16, 2007, many newspaper commentators described the killer, Seung-Hui Cho, as “psychopathic.” Yet Cho exhibited few traits of psychopathy: those who knew him described him as markedly shy, withdrawn and peculiar.
Regrettably, the current (fourth, revised) edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), published in 2000, only reinforces the confusion between psychopathy and violence. It describes a condition termed antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), which is characterized by a longstanding history of criminal and often physically aggressive behavior, referring to it as synonymous with psychopathy. Yet research demonstrates that measures of psychopathy and ASPD overlap only moderately.
2. All psychopaths are psychotic. In contrast to people with psychotic disorders, such as schizophrenia, who often lose contact with reality, psychopaths are almost always rational. They are well aware that their ill-advised or illegal actions are wrong in the eyes of society but shrug off these concerns with startling nonchalance.
Some notorious serial killers referred to by the media as psychopathic, such as Charles Manson and David Berkowitz, have displayed pronounced features of psychosis rather than psychopathy. For example, Manson claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, and Berkowitz believed he was receiving commands from his neighbor Sam Carr’s dog (hence his adopted nickname “Son of Sam”). In contrast, psychopaths are rarely psychotic.
3. Psychopathy is untreatable. In the popular HBO series The Sopranos, the therapist (Dr. Melfi) terminated psychotherapy with Tony Soprano because her friend and fellow psychologist persuaded her that Tony, whom Dr. Melfi concluded was a classic psychopath, was untreatable. Aside from the fact that Tony exhibited several behaviors that are decidedly nonpsychopathic (such as his loyalty to his family and emotional attachment to a group of ducks that had made his swimming pool their home), Dr. Melfi’s pessimism may have been unwarranted. Although psychopaths are often unmotivated to seek treatment, research by psychologist Jennifer Skeem of the University of California, Irvine, and her colleagues suggests that psychopaths may benefit as much as nonpsychopaths from psychological treatment. Even if the core personality traits of psychopaths are exceedingly difficult to change, their criminal behaviors may prove more amenable to treatment. 
Psychopathy reminds us that media depictions of mental illness often contain as much fiction as fact. Moreover, widespread misunderstandings of such ailments can produce unfortunate consequences—as Tony Soprano discovered shortly before the television screen went blank.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Fallen Hearts

“You are the most dangerous kind of female the world can ever know. You carry the seeds for your own destruction and the destruction of everyone who loves you. And a great many will love you for your beautiful face, for your seductive body; but you will fail them all because you will believe they all fail you first. You are an idealist of the worst kind - the romantic idealist. Born to destroy and self destruct.” 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Qualities That Keep You in a Sick System by Issendia

When I wrote Sick Systems: How to Keep Someone With You Forever, I was thinking of a few extreme situations I've found myself in or watched friends flounder through, so I considered sick systems rare and deeply pathological. What y'all are saying, both here and in conversations around the net, is that almost everyone has gotten stuck in a sick system at some point in their lives, and that they're an inground part of life in some slices of the world.
Something is wrong.
This is where I'm supposed to follow up with What to Do to Fix the World, but the answer is: nothing. You can't fix a sick system from within unless you have power, and you can't fix a sick system from outside, period. You can't compel people to leave. You can convince them to leave, but the moment that convinces them is individual, like enlightenment striking a monk because his master made a joke about a spade. And when a stuck person chooses to leave, it will be long, long, long after they should have gotten out.
So instead I offer you a list:

Qualities That Keep You in a Sick System

  • Loyalty
  • Patience
  • A strong work ethic
  • Optimism
  • Self-sacrifice
  • A need to be useful to others
  • Forgiveness
  • Farsightedness
  • Trust
  • Hope
  • You don't need to lose these qualities to get out. But if you're stuck and trying to figure out what's keeping you in, remember that people rarely get stuck because of their vices. They're usually caught by their virtues.