RumblestripQ: Back stage pass to the sociopath Side show Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Beauty. So hard to wait for that fine, fine grind.
I am counting on it. I had a friend who summed it up like this. "The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass everyday". The narcs I know were never happy no matter how much money they had. They still walked around muttering and cursing the ground under their feet. After my mother cashed the check from selling our farm she would still sit there and pound her hand on the arm of her couch until I thought she was going to bleed. And this from a dress that her mother gave to a starving family during the depression. 70 goddamn years later and she still worked herself into a lather about a handmade dress.
ew what movie is that picture from....LOLabout the sun and dog asses quote....never heard that one, I don't know my narcs have gotten a lot of sunny times. Uncle Narc even got a baseball star son. Sick of seeing the narcs not suffer even the day to day troubles of normal people, probably they got their signed contract with the devil for the good times here. But you are right, ask if they are HAPPY, and even ones with giant piles of money, baseball star sons, great jobs, vacations, big houses, they are grouchy as hell and spend every minute yelling, Your mother had plenty ofmoney and whined about a stupid dress, she could have replaced it. Narcs have a thing about material objects that is a bit "off". One of my paintings got damaged while we were moving things for the painters, and I know a narc would have gone into a screaming froth, what did I say, I felt sad, that my little painting got squished and there is a bulge in the canvas for about 10 seconds, but no one got screamed at.
Greed is a defining trait. It's not that they want to live particularly lavishly or drive Phantoms, vacation in Cannes or gamble in Monaco; they just don't want YOU (or anyone else) to have any. Think Ebanezer Scrooge before the visitation. And NO, this is not the same mindset of people who lived through the Depression or the Dust Bowl who put a left over tablespoon of potatoes in a container in the fridge. It's just plain "mine, allll mine." They'd rather throw something out than give it to you no matter how desperately you need it-food, clothing etc. They'll give away an item you've long admired (and may have been promised) to some one else right in front of you-with their typical psychopathic smirk. Is it any wonder one of the first if not the first response of Estranged Parents is to make sure their broken Adult Child Appliance is "disinherited?" Too bad we can't just "disinherit" the nightmares they left with us secondary to their "parenting."TW
That's been by far the hardest thing to process. My mother would do anything to fuck our shit up even if she went down with us. Us never having a decent home and my father never being able to work and hold down a job at one company for more than a year at a time affected her station in life too And made us live just as hand to mouth as her. As you like to call them TW they really are like suicide bombers. My mother would do with out before she saw us have any kind of good life. I saved the money that me and #1 used to put down on our first house but the instant she made a nickle more than me she started leaving bitch bites all up and down my back about me sponging off her and about HER supporting ME. They really are crazy. What ever mt ex wife took from us was more than worth it to get her and my mom off my back, and do it with a clear conscience. Yeah TW if you remember that one letter way back I posted from an estranged parent who was doing no small amount of teeth gnashing and hand wringing because she didn't know a way to tell her daughter she was out of the will. I think her words were a plaintiff "how do you disinherit a child that won't speak to you"? Uh honey that's the point! She denied you the chance to reject you first. Peep...that's from a movie called "Max" about a guy who was hanging out with Hitler after WWI and before WWII. It's an odd sort of movie but John Cusack is the guy who befriends Hitler so It's worth watching if you can find it.
I agree greed is one oftheir defining traits. I got a show off email in my box recently where Queen Spider is bragging to 67 people, that she is "downsizing", and come and get her woodworking,gardening, etc etc supplies. I don't know if her shopaholism got the house foreclosed on because it seems odd to me someone would move somewhere new without selling the old place first. I thought yeah, show off to the world how much stuff you got,acting so "generous" to give it away and bragging of garage sales to sell off the shopaholic hoard.I think my email was accidentally left on. Her emails are such a huge picture of her dysfunction, the people who make me sick are her upper middle class and above friends who see this as all "normal". I guess the money she wasted is all hers to give away and she can distribute gifts to more of the peasants, and "quests" [readers of my blog will remember that word] who will bow before her shining light of acquisitions. So I spent years at the food pantries and my father left her three fourths of a million to a million, and she's probably blown through it all. My husband said, "She's got to be broke now, your mother was not the type to downsize unwillingly." The bedroom in the big original house was on the first floor, so no disabilities or "aging" necessitated the move. So 67 people got emailed to come feast on it all, and things will be sold off to strangers. I suppose she probably will dump all those old pictures I wanted long ago in the trash. The relatives warning me of being disinherited did me a favor but I long ago suspected it. I suspect some art work I had given her, will be sold off in the garage sale,I am glad I rescued a few of my paintings from her.I think what a damn waste, that house was everything to her and as she spent 70,000 or more to even just put an addition on it, I lived in some of the throes of my most severe poverty Everything was invested in that house.
Yes they are suicide bombers.I think now of my medical neglect a lot as lately I am struggling to hold on to my mobility and what I went through, I had acouple snobbish upper middle class types give me the pity "God bless you" as I was sitting downtown to avoid paint fumes as my apartment was being painted..it disturbed me because I sat somewhere for two hours, that some people were assuming I was homeless, it's moments like this where too many spoiled types remind me of my mother. That estranged parent sounds like a piece of work. What makes me ill, is the relatives who were told I was disinherited years ago...including my grandmother who said, "Don't ever expect your mother to take care of you" and said it more indirectly then the other relative, acted as though this was acceptable. Since my decision to be DONE WITH THEM ALL,I have felt better.I owe none of those people nothing.Thanks for telling me what movie that was.I like John Cusak, so it sounds interesting.
My mother was crazy about us kids having any fun. In the summer of 1965 my father cut off most of his fingers in a table saw and he decided we would go on a vacation driving up the west coast. We drove the whole way to Disney Land and she had a temper tantrum in the parking lot because she didn't want to spend the money on admission. After he died and I got older she would stop me from doing things I liked like scuba diving ...she claimed she was afraid I would drown. But after a while she stopped me from doing anything fun and always with some lame excuse. She would dig her heels in like a Mule and just badger me/us until we would not go just to shut her up. With her new husband they drove to the King man Arizona on a trip to Vegas and they turned right around and came back. I never thought to ask them why they drove that far and didn't just finish the trip. Looking back I am sure she would do this because she didn't want to spend money on things besides clothes for her. If it ain't about the Narc they will make you sorry. We had that bitch up our ass with a broom our whole lives through.
At my grandmothers house there was no running water for years later than we could afforded it because no one would get off their wallet and spend the money. I never saw it it as a poverty thing but just a farm house that never got retrofitted with plumbing. But NOW I wonder how much her trial and stuff were behind it. Murder trails were not cheap even in the 60's. A lot of my ill health now can be directly attributed to the neglect of growing up around her.
Yes have a kid driven to Disney land and then say you can'tgo in. I can even see that as a movie plot device for some psycho parents,like a Chevy Chase movie from hell.I wasn't allowed any fun either, high school was pack mule time, housework, as you saw in my Cinderella post and then hours and hours of restaurant work,because at 15, I "should be buying my own clothes, and then later "paying my own car insurance and way,but what nut makes their kid work 35 hours a week at a restaurant when they have school to worry about too? Facebook was weird seeing my old classmates talk about their parties, friends and more,I didn't even realize what I missed out on until DECADES later, sure Aspergers mayhave kept that stuff semi-muted, but I remember all the activities where the answer was NO,sometimes I did rebel,but I should have MORE. Oh sure I bet they went to Arizona and she felt the attention was off her or some nonsense like that. Yeah they always make you sorry. Most of us would have been better off if they never have been born. Let those who had them as biological parents have their souls be born to someone else with a heart. Not living with running water is pretty serious stuff, they did have money to do it but I am sure shopping and her trial came first. Reminds me of Aunt Scapegoat and her years with no running water. No one got me a doctor when I showed health problems in my teens and everyday there is payment for that. ONe can read about abusive parents online, some nuts into extreme prepping or cheap living, etc making kids now live in shacks, or without running water, or off the grid or in the middle of the boonies with no medical care available and tons of them get away with it even now.
Like I said it was a farm thing, or so I thought. The houses in town were all hooked up to city and water an sewage but the further away from town you would find houses that had been standing alone since the civil war. So they had well water and no septic tank. Later on I was embarrassed to have kids from in town drop me off because the out-house was easy to spot. Even after the trial she went on a rampage every year or so. Shaking up with some new guy and sending my father into a suicidal tailspin. She just liked the attention. I always hear people talk about kids acting out because they want attention and bad consequences are better than none at all. That's my mother right there. Just flounce down on the ground and not care who was looking. If she was going to act like a child she shouldn't have had kids herself. We weren't toys to be taken out and played with and punished if we didn't like living in the toy box.
Peep about your ewwww comment. I am sure the conscientious narcissist cleans the grinder before he grinds a new victim
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